


One New Message

by newdisaster, OswinCumberbatch



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Case Fic, Dirty Talk, First Kiss, Hospitalization, M/M, Smoking, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 19:04:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newdisaster/pseuds/newdisaster, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OswinCumberbatch/pseuds/OswinCumberbatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's amazing what texting can enable a person to divulge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work was a collaborative effort by myself (John, Mycroft, Anderson) and tumblr user oswincumberbatch (Sherlock, Molly, Lestrade) as a back-and-forth pure text RP. We did this over our actual phones, so all of it was then typed up by us and edited later to make it more reader friendly.

**It was really confusing when my phone popped up ‘Sherlock’.**

_Really, John. Why would that be confusing?_

**Well, you know. Hasn’t popped up Sherlock for a while now. Just sort of vertigo, you know? I’ll have to get used to it again.**

_Well, I suppose I could hasten the process by texting you a lot._

**Oh God no. I don’t want to invite that. Knowing you, you won’t stop at me being used to it. You’ll continue until I associate Sherlock with annoyance. Again.**

_You don’t already? That’s odd._

**You think too low of yourself. Quit that.**

_Oh, no. Nothing like that. You did associate my name with annoyance quite quickly before. Surprised it wasn’t quicker this time._

**Don’t get used to it. The novelty of your miraculous return may wear off.**

_We both know it will. It’s just a matter of time before you fall back into the same routine of exasperation with me and again start halfheartedly planning my death._

**Oh don’t sell yourself short again. I am sure to wholeheartedly plan your demise.**

_Though it would be very ambitious of you, but we both know you’re far too fond of me to actually carry it out._

**Egotistical pain in the arse. Don’t act like it doesn’t go both ways.**

_I never said it didn’t._

**But you never said it did, either. You act so aloof, but I know you better than anyone, ya sentimental git.**

_Well I’m saying it now, then. And of course you do._

**I should keep that forever for posterity. I doubt the boys at Scotland Yard would believe you have it in you.**

_My fondness for you? Half of them think I’m a heartless machine and the other half, save a handful or so, pity me. But fondness between us? Oh, no. They have a betting pool. Again._

**Again? You would think after they watched me punch you in the face they’d give that up. But none of them think you’re heartless anymore. Not after they heard what happened on the rooftop.**

_The punch may have been what fueled it this time, actually. The emotion behind the action. Plus the fact that after you practically hugged the life out of me. Though I won’t deny that it was returned just as fully. But a few still do think of me that way. Not that I much care what they think._

**You care a little. I still feel like I should have hit you a few more times. I don’t know what emotions they saw behind it. I was furious. I think. It’s a little fuzzy.**

_You’re free to hit me whenever you feel you need to. I at least owe you that._

**You don’t owe me anything. You saved my life. Three times now.**

_Three times?_

**When I met you. On the rooftop. When you came back.**

_You count meeting me as me saving you? I mean, I can understand the other two, but the first… I didn’t think that went both ways. And you’re forgetting the times I’ve saved you during cases._

**Oh my bad. Of course all the times on cases, but I think we’re even on that count.**

**I was doing nothing. I WAS nothing after I got sent back. You somewhat brought me back to life. I was thinking about ending it. You saved me.**

**What do you mean both ways?**

_Oh, surely you’ve figured that one out. Between my boredom, Lestrade’s random drug busts, and Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson, and my brother commenting on how “good you’ve been for” me; you had to have seen that you stopped my downwards spiral. They were all worried and they had a reason to be._

**I like to believe you would have stayed on the straight and narrow had I not come along. Is it naive of me to think the best of you?**

_It is, actually. I’m not a good person._

**Now that I do not believe for a damn second. You wouldn’t have the ability to be who you are now if you weren’t. As you once said, it’s not me. I am the conductor of light. In this case, your light. You wouldn’t have done what you did if you weren’t good at heart. A good person. You wouldn’t have cared.**

_John, I would be dead. Actually, properly dead, many times over had I not met you. I’m not a good person, or at least I wasn’t. Even if I was, it never showed. It was buried deep inside, hidden and unused. You are a conductor of light, my conductor of light. You’re the one that made me a good person, John. I was a machine, you made me human again._

**This is the part where I pretend like that’s not the most…amazing thing you’ve ever said to me. And that I don’t want to hug you. Because men don’t do that. But just keep in mind that I was only able to do that because you DID have that light.**

**I have to work now, dammit. I don’t think I can keep my phone on me. I guess…I’ll see you when I get home.**

**If men told each other that they loved each other, I would do that. Just so you know.**

_Just because society says you shouldn’t doesn’t mean you can’t. I suppose, had you said it, this would be where I mention that the sentiment is returned. I’ll see you when you get home._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Sometimes I think you should get a proper job and then I am painfully reminded of the banality of my own and realize you with a job is a horrid idea.**

**And I will be saving your previous text. In case you try to deny it later.**

_Me with a proper job? Tried that. Fired the same day. Definitely a horrid idea. Never doing that again._

_Save it if you like. I won’t deny it. But try and use it against me and I’ll have proof that you said it first._

**You actually worked somewhere? I can’t even picture it. Where at?**

**I’m not sure that I would use it except to prove that you do have a heart.**

_Just at a shop. Normal job. Couldn’t stand it.  
I can’t imagine you’d use the knowledge for any nefarious purposes. You’re not the type to do so. Well, at least not to me._

**You underestimate my prankster side. And you grossly underestimate my evil side as well. It exists.**

**I can’t imagine you working. It’s a hilarious image.**

**Sarah thinks I have a new girlfriend because I keep smiling when you text me.**

_I know you’ve got a “prankster side”, though “evil” is debatable. You wouldn’t use my fondness for you against me. Would you kindly tell her I’m not a girl? Don’t know how she could have forgotten that._

**Sherlock! She’s implying that I’m in a new relationship. Correcting her on your gender wasn’t the first thing I did. I told her it was you and she gave me a weird look.**

_Oh, well. That works as well._

**I am starting to suspect that my place of employment has a betting pool similar to that of SY.**

_I don’t doubt it._

**Sarah says hello. I’m on my way home now. Should I stop and pick us up anything?**

_Definitely. I already called Angelo. He’ll have the food ready by the time you get there._

**Clever bastard.**

_Don’t bother saying no to the bottle of wine. Angelo won’t take no for an answer. I’ll slip him the cash for it later, as usual._

**Why on earth does he insist on the wine? It’s like the damn candle.**

_He’s a bit protective of me. I believe he sees me like a son. He’s glad I finally found someone._

_A friend, that is._

**He doesn’t exactly treat me like I’m your friend. Friends don’t usually share a bottle of wine.**

**But we do.**

_I do believe almost everyone thinks we’re dating. Apart from Mrs. Hudson, but that’s because she lives with is. Mostly my fault. They find it odd that I’ve got a friend when I’ve never had one before, so they assume there’s more to the story._

_We’ve shared a bottle of wine before; what’s odd about that?_

**I think I am starting to see things in a new perspective.**

_What new perspective would that be?_

**I suppose I am just seeing things as everyone else sees them. And if I was them, I’d think we were shagging too. Jesus, and they don’t even see us at home.**

**We really are very close to being a couple in a way, I guess.**

**Except that whole big part of me being straight, us not shagging, and neither of us being in love with the other.**

_Now you see why I never deny the accusations. In a way, we are a couple. We’re definitely not just friends. But you are correct. We’re not shagging, you’re straight, and we are not romantically entangled with each other._

**Can I just ask? What are you? Sexuality wise. I mean, I asked once, but that was a long time ago.**

_That’s not an easy one for me to explain. Well, it is. But it’s not easy to fit it into a box or under a label. I like what I like. The mind excites me, not the body, so gender isn’t an issue I deal with. And it’s not…common. Hasn’t happened much. How would you explain that? What label would you put that under?_

**Sherlock. I’d call that Sherlock.**

**So who’s the lucky lad or lass that has caught your attention, be it past or present?**

_Past, for the most part. Uni, male, Victor. A sexual relationship did occur, but it ended as quickly as it started. Familial obligations. His, not mine. The Woman, as you probably figured out. I’m sure you know she’s alive. She mentioned that she contacted you while I was away. Once she found out she had my attention, her affection for me vanished and nothing ever came of it. Good thing, too. She’s married now, by the way._

**Surprised you did anything in Uni more than study. But everyone sleeps around a bit during those years. I knew about her. She’s married? To whom?**

_Some man, rich. They don’t actually have sex. He just likes to watch her with her lover Kate. I think? And sex with Victor was sort of study. I say ‘sort of’ because, though I was viewing it somewhat as an experiment, he was also my friend._

**That’s almost sweet. Irene doesn’t surprise me, really. Hell, I wouldn’t mind watching that.**

**You said ‘for the most part’. Is there someone now?**

_I was wondering if you’d caught that. There is, but it’s not of importance._

**Hey, hey, hey now. I’d say that’s pretty important. My best friend harboring a crush? Come on. Who in the hell is worth your attention? I’ve only met two that could keep you entertained and one of them was a serial killer and the other was a dominatrix. I can’t believe there’s anyone else.**

_Well, you already know the dominatrix held my interest at one point, but that’s over. And Moriarty only had my interest until he had you strapped in a bomb. Deduce it._

**The only people you talk to is me, Lestrade, and Mycroft. That doesn’t help me at all.**

_And I’ve only just recently come back._

_Conclusion?_

**Oh.**

**How could I have missed that?**

_Because you’re an idiot._

**How long now?**

_Few years._

**Jesus. He’s been officially divorced for a while now. Why haven’t you said anything? I don’t know the way the bloke swings, but you’ve been holding onto this for too long.**

_He? Divorced? Who are you talking about?_

**Wait, not a he? Or divorced? Not Lestrade, then. Whoops. Who is she?**

_No, ‘he’ was correct. Lestrade, however, was not. And he has been married; is no longer._

**Sherlock, that really only leaves me and Mycroft, unless there is someone I don’t know about.**

_Mycroft is my brother, John. Not only that, but he’s never been married. Or divorced. Or widowed._

**You really could have stopped at brother.**

**Sherlock, that just leaves me.**

_Yes._

**Come on.**

_What?_

**Is this because I said I was the prankster?**

_I’m sorry. What?_

_Oh. You think I’m joking._

_I’m really not._

**You cannot be serious. You do understand what you’re implying, right?**

_Why can’t I be serious?_

**You aren’t actually telling me that you have…feelings for me. There’s no way.**

_Oh, is this something I should have kept to myself? One of those things you would have been better off not knowing?_

_Too late now, I suppose._

_Yes, that’s what I’m saying._

**Don’t play stupid. If you haven’t told me yet, you know it’s one of those things.**

**I mean, it’s not.**

**You shouldn’t have to keep quiet about…who you fancy.**

**I suppose.**

_It didn’t seem important. You were there, in my life, and then when I came back you let me back into yours. That’s what mattered to me. My friend accepting me; that’s what mattered._

_Does it bother you?_

**No.**

**A little.**

**No. No, it doesn’t.**

**It’s not….it doesn’t hurt you, does it?**

_Hurt me?_

**Well, it’s not like I can…return those feelings. I mean, I’m not gay. That’s not going to cause a rift, is it?**

**I don’t want to lose you**

**As a friend**

_Oh, no, of course not. I knew from the start they wouldn’t be returned. As I said before, you being in my life and being my friend: that’s what matters._

**Oh. Okay then. I suppose that’s just out there now.**

**Really, though? Me?**

**I don’t understand why. I’m not…interesting. Or massively intelligent. Or psychotic.**

_You may not be massively intelligent, but you’re definitely above average. You’re not psychotic by our terms, but you do choose to be friends with me, so your mental stability falls into question there._

_Trust me on this, though: John Watson, you are most definitely interesting. If people would just look, they would see how fascinating you are._

**I’ve forgotten where I was going. Thank God for the cabbie.**

**I’m so sorry.**

_Angelo’s correct? Then home._

_Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for._

**I don’t know. I feel like I do.**

**I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.**

**I didn’t think you were interested in anyone that way at all, let alone me. Just surprised.**

_John, I don’t want you to feel guilty about this. It’s not new. I chose not to tell you because I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to ruin it, taint it. Don’t feel sorry. You have no reason to be sorry._

**Yeah I know.**

**Don’t worry. I’ll deal with this like a grown up.**

**There’s nothing to deal with. You just fancy me is all. No big deal. You are happy with how things are and you aren’t asking me for anything I can’t do.**

**It’s all fine.**

_Yes. Right. Good._

_I’m glad that’s all sorted then._

**Right.**

**I’ve got Angelo’s. And yes, there is wine.**

_Of course. He’ll find extra money in the register in a few days._

**As always, a miracle of some sort.**

_I try._

**He was very grateful when the ‘odd one with the umbrella’ left a £1000 tip.**

_Oh yes. We might have to see about making the £1000 tips a monthly occurrence. Or at least bimonthly._

_Are you almost back? I am actually quite hungry._

**Yeah. I’m almost there. Just a moment.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Feel free to leave comments, questions, concerns, and even constructive criticism. We appreciate every single type!


	3. Chapter 3

_John, where did you hide them?_

_You know I hate it when you hide my equipment._

**What did I hide this time?**

_Don’t play dumb. I know you hid them. No one else could have, no one else had been in the flat other than the two of us._

_I didn’t see you hide them last night, so you must have done so this morning before you left._

**I have absolutely no idea what you mean, Sherlock.**

_Petri dishes, pipettes, blank slides. This isn’t a game, John. I don’t care how ‘intellectually stimulating’ it is, it’s not fun. Where are they?_

**Oh, those. Come now, if I told you, what would be the point in you finding them?**

_Not a game. Not fun._

**Liar.**

_Oh, but this is fun to you, isn’t it? Knowing something I don’t?_

**A little.**

_More than a little._

**It’s a rare thing. I take what I can get.**

_Fair enough. Found the gun, though. If that was your best attempt at hiding it, then why can’t I find my things?_

**PUT MY GUN BACK! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!**

_Really, John. Stop panicking. I’m not interested in shooting anything right now._

_You could have hidden my things here, of course I’m going to look._

**Get out of my room! I’m not going to hide anything there because I don’t want you in there.**

_Oh? You know I go after the gun and yet you still keep it in your room._

**I keep it there because I foolishly trust you not to mess with it. Looks like I’ll be locking it away.**

**It’s under my pillow. Are you on my bed?**

_That’s no fun. Choose you lock wisely; make it a challenge to get through._

_Correction: it was under your pillow. Now it’s in my hand. And yes, just sitting on the edge. Thinking. Problem?_

**No.**

**Put my gun away. You can think without it.**

_Oh, there is a problem, isn’t there? Not that I’m on your bed, but the way I’m sitting. Positioning. I’m not going to shoot myself, John. That’s not what I’m thinking about._

**What are you thinking about?**

_Just trying to think like you. Figure out where you hid my things. That’s all._

**Why don’t I believe you?**

_I put your gun back. Sorry for worrying you._

**It’s all right. I should know you wouldn’t do that.**

_Exactly._

**It’s just that…I have sat there before. With my gun. Thinking about it.**

_I know._

_I would be lying if I said I hadn’t been in a similar state. Not a gun, but still. I wouldn’t. Not now._

_Lestrade just called with a case. Not worth you leaving work for, but I’m bored enough to take it. I’ll be home tonight._

**All right.**

**I do…care for you, Sherlock.**

_I know you do. This case may take longer than usual. Few more hours._

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

_Well that was tedious. Trying to catch a cab now. Want me to get anything on the way home?_

**Just bring yourself. I’m good with that.**

_Did you mean that how it sounded._

**…how did it sound?**

_Never mind. Do me a favor and draw a hot bath. I sort of fell into the Thames._

**YOU WHAT??**

_Not off a bridge or anything. The man just tackled me into the water in an attempt to evade me. Didn’t work._

_I’m surprised my phone is still working, actually._

**Goddamn it, Sherlock. You should have let me come along. Are you all right? Any injuries? I’ll draw the water for you.**

_It wasn’t a  big deal, John. Boring case, really. I just didn’t anticipate him taking off._

_I’m fine. No injuries. I’m just cold._

**It’ll be ready for you when you get home.**

_Thank you, John._

**JUST REMEMBER no stripping until you AT LEAST get into the flat. Let’s not give Mrs. Hudson an eyeful. Again.**

_Wouldn’t dream of it, John. I’ll wait until I’m upstairs._

**Don’t act like your lack of modesty hasn’t been an issue before. I thought my last girlfriend was going to have a mental fit.**

**Though it’s better than the one that immediately tried to dump me to try you out.**

_Not my fault they get embarrassed at the sight of the human body._

**Most people aren’t accustomed to nudity. And to be fair, your body isn’t the standard human anyway.**

**Ignore that.**

_No, this is interesting. What exactly do you mean?_

**I don’t mean anything.**

_Yes you do or you wouldn’t have told me to ignore it._

**Sherlock, let it go. I should have said anything. I don’t need to boost your ego any more.**

**Ignore that too.**

_Definitely not ignoring it, but I can tell you’re getting uncomfortable and I’m cold so I’ll drop it._

**Thank you.**

_For now._

**Oh for Christ’s sake. Look, I am just pointing out that, even from a straight man’s point of view, you are what one could call aesthetically pleasing. You have a toned body. You resemble a fucking statue of a Greek god, frankly.**

**There.**

_Oh. Well, I_

_Thank you._

**Yes.**

**I’ll be in my room when you get home.**

_Yes?_

**Trying to live this down.**

_John, really. It’s fine. You don’t have to do that. I’ll order Chinese._

**You NEVER order.**

_If I’ll be in the bath, then why are you going to your room? It’s your flat too._

_I will order. And pay._

**I feel sufficiently awkward. What man says that to another man?**

**AND PAY?**

_You don’t have to feel awkward. No reason to. I don’t understand social norms, remember?_

_Yes, and pay._

**Are you dying?**

_No. Why would you ask that?_

**You never order and you CERTAINLY never pay.**

_Well, I am now. I was trying to be nice._

**You’re succeeding.**

_Good._

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**It’s two in the morning, Sherlock. Go to bed. I can hear you from up here.**

_I’m not tired, John._

**Well I am. What the hell are you even doing down there?**

_Honestly? Still trying to find the blank slides. I found the rest, but I underestimated you._

**Ah, I feel a slight victory coming on.**

_Shut up. I’m not really looking._

**Of course you’re not.**

_I suppose playing the violin is out of the question?_

**Not necessarily. I don’t mind that.**

**If I’m honest, which I have been recently to the point of over honesty, I enjoy it.**

_I’m assuming you mean when I’m actually playing it, though._

**Yes. When you’re not abusing it.**

_I don’t abuse it._

**Come off it. You make that thing screech like a cat sometimes.**

_Just because I can make the instrument make unpleasant sounds doesn’t mean the instrument is being abused. Just people’s ears. The instrument comes to no harm._

**I have work in the morning. Remind me why I’m lying in bed texting you downstairs?**

_Because you’re bored, you like talking to me, and you can’t sleep with all the racket I’m making._

**I am beginning to wonder if disturbing my slumber and having this very conversation was your plan all along.**

_Quite possibly._

**Git.**

_You love it._

_Well, you tolerate it._

_You don’t hate it._

**Sherlock.**

**I love it.**

**Play me something.**

_Of course._

**You do pay attention.**

**You knew that was my favorite, didn’t you?**

_Do remember who you’re talking to, John._

_You relax when I play this. Smile._

**Yeah but isn’t that slightly not important. A detail to be erased from your hard drive?**

_Nothing of you is erased._

**I can’t recall social norms. Do men sleep on the couch so other men can play them to sleep?**

_I don’t think there is a societal norm for that._

_Even if there was, would it matter?_

**Work with me on this.**

**Can YOU think of it?**

_No, I can’t._

_And no, I don’t mind._

**Grabbing a pillow. See you in a moment.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave any comments or internal thoughts that pop into your head! We love them :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Well good morning to you, too.**

**Waking up to an empty flat is a concerning thing: where are you?**

_Out._

**Out?**

**Just out?**

_Yes._

**Can I ask where?**

_Just went for a walk. At the morgue now._

**Yes lovely. A walk to the morgue. What prompted that?**

_Needed to think. You were asleep._

**You’re being very vague. What are you thinking about? I’m awake now.**

_You look very peaceful when you sleep and I’ve been playing my violin._

**I think my bed time soundtrack had something to do with the peaceful aspect.**

_It’s the same even if you’ve woken from a nightmare and I play._

**I know.**

**What’s on your mind?**

_Now? Surprise at you not scolding me for obviously watching you sleep._

**I wouldn’t expect anything different, really. More data, isn’t it?**

_Of a sort._

**Being vague again.**

**What are you doing at the morgue?**

_Getting new slides._

**Oh I needed a laugh. Thanks for that.**

_Shut up._

**Please tell you aren’t just TAKING slides.**

_No, Molly’s here. They always order too many here; she’s giving them to me. They won’t be missed, just assumed broken and tossed._

**Good.**

**By the way, you should have checked your case file.**

**You know, the one about me.**

_Damn it. Almost like keeping them on you, really._

_Sneaky bastard._

**Thank you. You’re the one with the creepy file documenting my life.**

**Mycroft gave you that?**

_No, actually, I stole it from his office._

_He shouldn’t have it._

**That he should not. Talk about sneaky bastards.**

_I can’t believe I’m almost defending him, but he is my brother as well as the British Government. Is it really so surprising that he had a file on you?_

**Not in the slightest.**

**Odd you think he shouldn’t have it but that you should.**

_I didn’t read it._

**Liar.**

_Not lying, actually. I really didn’t._

**Oh that’s right. You wouldn’t need to. I’m sure you’ve deduced everything about me anyways.**

_I don’t think I have, not about you anyways. You’re surprising. Reading the file may give me facts I’ve missed, but it’s nowhere near as interesting as the person behind the words._

_You seem upset._

**Not upset. I’m used to my privacy being invaded. Expect it.**

**You can always ask.**

_And that’s the other reason. Though I would rather figure it out on my own, asking the source is much preferred over reading from a file._

**I’m surprised you care.**

**Though, never mind.**

_Quite._

**Lestrade just texted. Said there’s a case you might be interested in.**

_Actually interested or interesting as he thought it would be yesterday?_

**Hell if I know. Might be nice though. He said it wouldn’t take long. A man’s been found dead in his classroom. Locked from the inside, windows bolted. Definitely our division.**

_Oh. Might be worth checking out if he doesn’t turn out as suicide. Joining me?_

**Meet you there.**

_Excellent._

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**Don’t even try that with me.**

**Don’t think you can get off by playing Bach. It won’t work. I’m not coming down there.**

_Why?_

**Why? WHY?!**

**You kissed me!**

**At a crime scene!**

**In front of all of Scotland Yard!**

**Next to a dead body!**

_You made a brilliant deduction, pointed out something that I had missed._

_It was impulse._

**Impulse?! You are going to try and get out of it by calling it an impulse??**

**You’ve never done that before!**

_You wouldn’t be so mad about it if you didn’t know about my feelings. You would have written it off as an eccentricity or the thrill of the case._

**No, Sherlock. No, I don’t think I would have.**

_Well you wouldn’t be this angry!_

**Yes! I would have!**

**YOU**

**KISSED**

**ME!**

_Yes. Yes I did. No need to shout via text. I can practically hear you hitting the keys._

**You’re such an arse!**

**Do you have idea what the Scotland Yard “are they shagging?” betting pool looks like now? If I hadn’t reacted the way I did, they would probably have thought that was actually a regular occurrence.**

_Then why didn’t you punch me?_

**Because I won’t hit you.**

**Not again.**

_I’ll explain it to them if you’re so upset about it. Set their minds straight. I know Lestrade wrote it off straight away._

**Oh why bother.**

**They already have a time table anyway.**

**I’ve seen it now.**

_Oh? Who’s winning?_

**No one! Because we’re not together!**

**Though, technically…**

**Anderson.**

_Oh. No, we can’t have that._

**Your fault.**

_Now I’m definitely setting this straight._

**Interesting choice of words.**

_I don’t care if they think we’re together or not, but I’m not having Anderson win the pool._

**If you call that our first kiss, then he’s winning.**

_How would we fix that, then? Lie?_

**The main bet is when we come out as a couple. That’s irrelevant. But then there’s side bets. They bet we’d show some sort of PDA after three months. Anderson said our first kiss at a crime scene. So he’s winning.**

_Shit._

**A reminder: your fault.**

_Yes, I see that. Thank you._

_I didn’t think the action through._

**Obviously.**

_Apologies._

**Damn right.**

**Accepted.**

_Will you stop avoiding me now?_

**Indecisive on that.**

**So…if we were to try and tip the scales in someone’s favor over at SY, who would you help?**

_Lestrade, of course. He’s the most competent of the lot, and he’s put up with me for years without killing me. Though he did doubt me before the fall, it wasn’t of his own thought. Anderson and Sally planted it there._

_In my opinion, were anyone to win, it should be him._

**Well, we’ve started him low. He didn’t expect any PDA for some time. He is betting that there will be something between us by next month, however.**

**He calls our first PDA “hand holding” leaving a crime scene within the next two weeks.**

_How, exactly, are you so knowledgeable of the SY betting pool?_

**I may have a copy of it up here.**

_Well, that’s it then. The kiss wasn’t meant as a kiss, not in any romantic sense. It doesn’t count._

_Why do you have a copy?_

**Curiosity.**

**I wanted to see what everyone thought.**

**LESTRADE IS NOT GOING TO WIN.**

**NOT IF HE PUT “PUBLIC SEX (UNDOUBTEDLY CAUGHT BY ME)” WITHIN THE NEXT THREE MONTHS!!**

**How in the HELL does he go from hand holding to sex in an alley?**

_Of course he’s not going to win. No one is going to, but I won’t have Anderson in the lead._

**…you’re serious?**

_I’ll just explain to them the reasoning for the kiss and set the record straight. Then drag you away by the hand a few weeks from now. That should count._

**And that’s it, right?**

_Well, I’m not going to jump you in an alleyway._

**Well…he has a few things BEFORE that.**

_Such as?_

**Nothing. Nevermind.**

**It’ll only encourage this madness.**

_No, tell. I’ll stick to the mostly platonic things, if I do any at all._

**Just…little things.**

**Sitting closer on bar nights. Extended glances.**

**He’s writing a romance novel in this bet.**

**Sally is following his lead, but her timeline is shorter.**

**Anderson is out there.**

_Anderson’s an idiot. Picking the most outlandish scenes. He got lucky._

_But, as I said before, it doesn’t count._

**No, it doesn’t.**

**If you were going to do something like that, I doubt you would put anything less than 110% of your attention into it.**

**Ignore that. I have no idea what my mind is doing.**

_Not ignoring that because it is an entirely accurate statement. You’re right. I would have been thorough. Paid more attention instead of a quick kiss over a corpse._

**I don’t think I should continue to see where THAT conversation leads.**

**I’m not angry anymore.**

_Good. I’ll go tomorrow to explain it to them. Now, would you stop hiding in your room?_

**Only if there’s tea.**

_Of course there’s tea._

**I expect to smell it as I walk down the stairs, then.**

_Already working on it._

 


	5. Chapter 5

_I don’t know why you insist on going to the pub when we have alcohol in the flat._

**I don’t know? A night out with the mates? Talking about rugby and women and politics. Great fun.**

**You don’t have to say anything about…earlier. The boys have given me hell, but apparently it had to be consensual to count.**

_Sounds dull. Consensual to count; good rule to have. Otherwise, they could trick us into it._

**It would be dull to you.**

_Thus why I didn’t go._

**It’s an open invite, you know.**

_I don’t see the appeal._

**I doubt you would. It’s nice to see Lestrade smiling, though. And Anderson is actually tolerable.**

_Now, I don’t believe it at all._

**It’s true. Fairly fun guy once you get a few pints in him.**

**Course, he’s giving me a lot of shit about this afternoon.**

_Well, of course he is; he’s no longer winning._

**He’s quite hopeful.**

_He’ll never win._

**I wonder if us knowing about the bet will make it null and void.**

_Do they know we know? Better question: do they know you have a copy of the whole thing?_

**Not at this point. But I could compare with Lestrade. Make him change his bets to fit our needs? Or is that too suspicious?**

_Depends. Do you think they would make it so their choices are final?_

**Not sure. Should I talk to Lestrade?**

_It’s their bet on the line. Go ahead._

**Lestrade says that he’ll organize a “staff meeting” and they’ll “recalibrate” the bets, in light of “recent evidence”. I’m going to talk through what Lestrade should bet on. Any suggestions?**

_That’s all up to what you’re comfortable with._

**I’d be willin to make some exceptions in this case.**

**For Lestrade’s benefit**

**More we do, more he gets**

**Nice way to pay him back**

_Pay him back?_

**Let’s you on cases? The whole faked your death bit? Keeps Mycroft away?**

_Ah yes. Of course._

**So wht dyou think?**

_As I said, John. What you’re comfortable with._

_I’m assuming whatever can still be seen as platonic._

**Well ive alrdy kissed yoy. Not much mre thn that but I guess im not oppsed to a little theatricality.**

_Standing or sitting closer, lingering gaze, an arm around a shoulder or waist, hand holding, a kiss. I’m assuming these are all for the PDA bet, so you just need to come up with a timeline._

**Got tit**

**Git it**

**Jesus im getting nice n pissed**

_I can see that. How quickly are you drinking? Maybe you should slow it down._

**Where is th fun in tht**

_You’re getting properly pissed and you don’t just do that for fun._

**Were all tkin shots**

**Theyre congrtulatinf me**

**Congratulating**

**I hv no idea why**

**They wont say**

_Did you ask?_

**Ysss but thy r just laughing**

**NUPPLES**

**NIPTILS**

**NUPTIALS**

**WEDDING SHERLOCK**

_You’re not getting married_

**Thy r congratulating me for it**

**M I getting married?**

_Not that I know if, at least_

_I would think that would be something you remembered, even in this state. No, John. As far as I know, you’re not getting married._

**Confiscated John’s phone to find out who was taking his attention from the woman across the bar. Should have known it would be you. Evening, Sherlock.**

_Lestrade. Why are you getting him drunk? You don’t seem to be in the same state._

**Guess again. Lestrade’s just as pissed as John. I took his phone to stop him from drunk texting his ex-wife.**

_Oh God Anderson. Give John his phone back. Now. You had no reason to take it._

**Relax. Keep your gloves on. I’m saving your arse anyways.**

_Just how do you figure that?_

**If he doesn’t have his phone, then he can’t get that woman’s name. Papers and napkins get lost. Phone contact stays.**

_Oh._

**Yeah.**

**So it’s true then.**

_What does it even matter to you?_

**I’m not entirely heartless.**

**I know how unrequited love feels, you know.**

_You’ve been cheating on your wide for years. I’d say you’re mostly heartless. Unless she’s cheating on you as well._

**Thanks. She has been, as a matter of fact. With my brother. We’re only together legally.**

_How did I not know that?_

**Because I don’t bring home with me to work.**

**That and you are, ultimately, a self-centered berk.**

_I should probably apologise._

**You? Apologize to me?**

**I have seen it all.**

_I said should, not that I was._

**Oh ha-ha**

_Why are you doing this?_

**No idea.**

_You have no reason to be anything but horrible to me._

**Call it self-preservation. If John gets himself a girlfriend, you’re going to be miserable. Never fun when the person you love is shagging someone else. You’d be cranky and I’d end up getting the brunt of your wrath.**

_That makes much more sense._

**Of course, that’s not why, but I like how you are easily prepared to think if of me.**

_You don’t like me, don’t even tolerate me. I could even go so far as to say you hate me. You were part of smearing my name and getting Lestrade to doubt me. How else am I supposed to think of you?_

**Consider it a long overdue apology.**

**You were an arsehole to me, but you didn’t deserve all the shit you went through. And it was shit of me to fall for it.**

_So now you’re trying to help me?_

_Is this some sort of “let’s stop being shit to each other” agreement? Some sort of fresh start?_

**Oh hell no. You’re still an annoying bastard. But I respect your intelligence and I don’t hate you.**

_You could at least get your girlfriend to stop calling me a freak._

**Ha. You’re funny. Because I can control that woman.**

_Fair enough. But there is an agreement. Stop treating me like shit and I’ll do the same for you._

_Or at least I’ll try._

**Sounds fair enough.**

**Can you imagine their faces?**

_They’ll wonder if they’re dreaming._

**We should call each other some wretchedly soppy bro name. At least the first time.**

_Now that’s where I draw the line._

**Imagine John’s face.**

_Oh, he’ll think I’m on something._

**He will. Might take the heat off that impromptu kiss.**

_That kiss wasn’t meant romantically at all._

**Oh I know. I saw John’s face.**

**Didn’t mean you don’t want it to be.**

_That specific kiss? No, I didn’t. That really was me caught up in the moment._

**But you do love him.**

_I don’t know why I’m admitting it to you of all people, but yes I do._

**Oh that is precious.**

_Don’t you dare. You can’t hold it over me. He already knows._

**Sorry. That’s probably mean of me.**

**Just kind of funny, considering we didn’t even think you had a heart.**

_Yet you know what happened on the rooftop._

**Wait, he KNOWS?**

_Yes, he knows._

**I said that in past tense.**

**Why is he out here flirting if he knows you love him?**

_Because he’s straight._

**Bull shit.**

**That man is enamored with you.**

_That may be, but that doesn’t make him romantically or sexually interested in me._

**He wants to head home.**

**Look, Sherlock, I may still think you’re an egotistical arsehole, but I hope he comes around.**

**Or in this case, comes out.**

_Funny. Call him a cab and return his phone to him. I’ll take care of it from there._

_And I’ll try to at least be civil at the next crime scene._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all of your lovely comments! Me and oswincumberbatch absolutely get giddy when we see what you guys think of it! Hope you liked this chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Sherlock, where are the headache pills?**

_Far left drawer in the kitchen. Hungover?_

**There’s a fucking war zone in my head.**

_I don’t doubt it. Apparently you and Lestrade were taking shots. Know why?_

**Not a damn clue. All a bit fuzzy. Where are you?**

_The morgue. Figured I could spare your head further pain._

_Have you gone through your messages? Apparently the shots were for celebration. Something about nuptials._

**WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE?**

**Do a little bonding with Anderson?**

_Seems that way, doesn’t it._

**How dare he. None of his goddamn business if I want some woman’s number. He had no right to interfere. And for what purpose? Increased chances for the betting pool?**

**You TOLD HIM??**

**What the fuck, Sherlock!**

_What’s wrong with that?_

**That’s our business, Sherlock. Not his.**

_Wrong. It’s my business._

**But do you understand how shitty that makes me feel?**

_Wasn’t meant that way._

**You, Sherlock Holmes, whom has rarely had any kind of connection with anyone, and the one time he does, the guy’s an arse and doesn’t love him back.**

**And to tell ANDERSON of all people.**

_I already told you it’s fine. I’m not expecting anything. It’s not your fault you don’t feel the same._

_I didn’t realize it would bother you._

**It does.**

**I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already am.**

_You’re not hurting me in the first place, John. I’ve felt this way for years without you knowing about it._

**YEARS?**

_I did say years before, when you thought that it was Lestrade. Did you forget that?_

**I assumed that, when it wasn’t Lestrade, your previous specifications were null.**

**When?**

_When did I start feeling this way?_

**Yes.**

_I noticed that I was quite attached to you when you were kidnapped by the Chinese assassins. Didn’t realize the feelings had shifted to a romantic attachment until Moriarty strapped you to a bomb. When we could have died. I thought it might have just been the stress of the situation making me think that, but it didn’t fade away._

**SINCE THE POOL?**

_Before the pool, I only figured it out there._

**Jesus, Sherlock…**

_I’m not saying any of this to make you feel guilty, John. You have nothing to feel guilty for._

**Does it hurt?**

_It did, at first, but it was nothing I couldn’t manage. Now, though, it either doesn’t hurt or I’m used to it._

_No, John, it doesn’t hurt._

**God, I keep thinking about all of the women I trotted through the door…**

_John, please don’t. You’re my friend, first and foremost. Stop going down that path._

**I’m sorry. You’re probably fine. I’m blowing things out of proportion.**

_You are. I am fine._

**Can you come home? I’m thinking we sit down and go for another movie. It’s a crime you haven’t watched Die Hard.**

_Now? I…okay. Just give me fifteen minutes to finish what I’m doing, then I’ll head home._

**What are you doing? If I’m interrupting something, then don’t worry about it.**

_I was just working on my experiments at Bart’s. I didn’t want to make the hangover headache worse._

_I’ll be home in less than half an hour._

**What experiment, if I may ask?**

**And I should probably thank you for being considerate.**

_Nothing really important. Just testing reactions. Just something to pass the time between cases._

**Reactions? Like chemical reactions? Or people reactions?**

_Chemical._

_Though, Molly’s reactions to the experiments have been quite amusing._

**Oh please tell me Molly is finally getting to see the spectacular sight that is you with a hair clip pushing back your curls.**

_No._

**She doesn’t know what she’s missing.**

_And she never will._

**Oh, but it’s so wonderful. I feel it is something everyone should get to witness.**

_I disagree._

_Leaving to catch a cab now._

**Say what you will. I’ll have the popcorn ready.**

_I don’t see how you like that stuff._

**Because it’s good.**

**You’re just a picky git.**

_It’s disgusting._

**And so am I, so it fits.**

_How are you disgusting?_

**I’ll get you gummy worms or something.**

_Gummy worms or M &M’s. Or both._

**Both then. See you in a few.**

_Good._

_Thank you._

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

_Stop calling me. I’m not going to answer you. I really don’t feel like hearing your voice right now._

**Sherlock, please don’t. I’m sorry.**

_Sorry doesn’t cut it, John! You dropped my violin!_

**Sherlock, you know I would never, ever intentionally do something like that. I am so, so sorry. I feel absolutely horrible.**

_I don’t care! It still happened! Maybe if you weren’t so incredibly stupid you would be able to pay attention to your surroundings and not crack my violin!_

**I didn’t see it! I was distracted! And I am stupid. A moron. But I’m only human I know getting you another one is not going to even come close to making up for it, but I will do anything to make up for this. Anything.**

_Stop. Just stop. This isn’t some bargain. Don’t tempt me!_

**I mean it! I have fucked up in a way I can never begin to repair. That violin means a lot to me and I can’t begin to imagine what it means to you. So please. Anything. I am at your damn mercy.**

_I don’t want that! I don’t. I just don’t._

_Stop. Please stop._

**Stop what? Sherlock, what is it?**

_Just stop. It doesn’t matter._

**It does matter. Sherlock please. I’m down on my metaphysical knees.**

_I can’t John. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. I can’t._

**Sherlock? Talk to me. Call me. Something. Tell me what’s going on. Please.**

_I don’t want to call. I can’t call. Can’t talk. Words aren’t working. No calling._

**Then keep texting me. Please. I know I have done a wretched thing, but it was an accident. And I want to make it up to you. And I will in any way that I can. Please let me help you.**

_You know, I had no idea I was so attached to an object. An object, John._

_What’s wrong with me?_

**Nothing is wrong with you. It has been a constant in your life for some time through some of the rough points.**

**Welcome to sentiment.**

**It’s hell.**

_It hurts. I want to break something, tear at my hair. I would say I want to cry, but I already am._

_Ignore that, John._

**Sherlock, come home.**

**I know you hate me right now, but come home.**

**I can’t have you all alone, crying and upset.**

**Please, Sherlock.**

_I don’t hate you. I’m incredibly angry with you, furious, but I don’t hate you._

_God, no. I’m not even angry with you._

**Then please. At least come home and start demanding something of me. If not that, then I want to take care of you.**

**I know how it feels when someone takes something of sentimental value and destroys it.**

**Please. Either let me just comfort you or make it up to you.**

**Anything you want.**

_I’m furious. It’s not directed at you and that doesn’t make any sense for me to be so angry but not angry with you._

_Did I hit you? I stormed out of the flat so quickly. I don’t know if I hit you or not, but my hand hurts._

**Doesn’t matter.**

_It does._

**Don’t worry about it.**

_Where?_

**I deserved it.**

_Where, John? You said you’ll do anything, so here is anything. Tell me where._

**A few places.**

**You probably hurt your hand on my chest.**

**Or stomach.**

**My face isn’t that damaging.**

_No, how…how do I not remember?_

**You were very angry.**

_But enough to cause you bodily harm?_

_You, John, of all people?_

**It’s your violin, Sherlock. You’d probably freak out on Mrs. Hudson.**

**Look, I’m fine. I’m a big boy. I defended myself enough to block some of the blows.**

**Please come home.**

_Yes, all right. I’m headed that way now._

_You said something about comforting me?_

**Yes. Any way I can.**

**Any way you want.**

_Let me check where I hit you. If my hand hurts this much, I can’t imagine how your ribs or stomach feel._

**They’re fine.**

**This is not about me.**

_Please, John. I’m guilty on top of angry and sad now. It will help._

**I don’t want you to be feeling any of those.**

**How can I help fix this?**

**I just keep hurting you.**

**Sorry.**

**Ignore that.**

_Mycroft knows how important the violin is to me. He’ll already be contacting someone to repair or replace it. You’re hurt because of me, directly by my hand. Let me help you. It will help me._

_Then, if you can stand it, since you’re insisting, I’ll take a cuddle on the couch as comfort._

**You know, three things are funny about that.**

**One, I called Mycroft myself and he’s already on it.**

**Two, you used the word “cuddle”**

**And three, I was thinking the same thing…**

_One, thank you. Two, shut up. Three, glad we’re on the same page._

**It’s an unorthodox desire. Rather…shocking.**

_You’re offering to comfort someone you care for and that you, however unintentionally, hurt._

**Cuddling is definitely covered in the social cues. And it’s definitely not something men do.**

**But we do.**

_Let’s just ignore the possible social conventions. At least for now. I do need it. Right now. I just do._

**I know.**

**I do too.**

_Get some ice packs out. I’m almost to Baker street._

**I don’t need an ice pack. Really. I’m okay.**

_I was thinking more along the lines of checking injuries then ice packs while cuddling._

_We have got to stop saying “cuddling”._

**I don’t want you to see.**

_Why?_

**Your guilt level is high enough.**

_I know they’re there, seeing them won’t make me feel more guilty. I promise._

**All right. But no guilt.**

**I’ll have them ready.**

_I’m already guilty. But no added guilt._

_I’m almost home._

_I’m sorry._


	7. Chapter 7

_I see what you mean when you said it’s concerning waking up to an empty flat._

_Still on the couch at that. Did I fall asleep on you?_

**Yeah. I was a little surprised by that, since you came home in a rush.**

**Sorry. Should have left a note.**

_I’m sorry for falling asleep on you. Didn’t crush you, did I?_

_Where did you go anyway?_

**Decided to meet up with Stamford for coffee in the park. Reminisce.**

_Did we ever thank him?_

**I could pretend I don’t know what you mean, but I won’t.**

**Yes. In fact, that’s what today was.**

_Good._

_Thank him for me as well._

**I told him that and he asked me if we had a date set.**

_What was your response?_

**I laughed and told him we didn’t think a traditional wedding was our style.**

**Oh god, he was serious.**

**I should probably clarify.**

_I’m surprised you cracked a joke first instead of correcting him._

**I am very much used to the joking.**

_Did he believe you when you clarified?_

**He apologized. He believed me both times.**

**Did you know he meant to set us up? He knew I’d like you immediately. He said after our first meeting (and my blog entry), he gave it a week.**

_Set us up as in romantically?_

**Yep. After the lab, he’s been wondering why it hasn’t taken off.**

**Half our life is your work and the other half is being amused at how many people think we’re together.**

**You know, if this was the Victorian era, no one would even question two blokes living together.**

_Did you experiment in college? Sexually, I mean. Why else would he try to set you up with a man?_

_You don’t seem to mind our life despite that._

_If this was the Victorian era… I don’t think I’d like it very much at all._

_I’d rather not be hanged, thank you._

**Oooooh no. We are NOT getting into the college experimentation discussion. Not happening.**

**I do like our life. It is a nice one.**

**Why would you be hanged? I mean, possibly beat up for rubbish manners, but hanged?**

_I had past relationships with a man and I am currently in love with another. If caught, I would most definitely be hanged._

**They hanged people for being gay?**

_Yes. Homosexuality was illegal._

**Can I just say that, knowing you, you would not have been hanged?**

_I would have tried my best to avoid it, that’s true._

**No, you wouldn’t even have had to avoid it. You wouldn’t have gotten caught.**

_Would you have turned me in?_

**That prompted thought, but there is a resounding no.**

**You would have still been my friend. Your business would have been your own.**

_Good to know that, even if my feelings for you were illegal, you’d still be on my side._

**Never been one to listen to authority anyways.**

_What about Queen and country and all that?_

**There’s a difference between patriotism and blindly following.**

_Only idiots blindly follow without thinking._

**Mike is wondering what you’re up to.**

_Nothing much at the moment, actually. Just making tea._

**You? Doing nothing?**

**What’s wrong?**

_Nothing’s wrong. Mycroft came and took my violin, so I can’t play it right now. I don’t have any experiments in the flat because I moved them all to Bart’s yesterday, and I don’t have a case._

**So what are your plans then? I won’t be much longer with Mike.**

_I’m not sure. I’m bored, but it’s not the same bored that I usually experience._

**What sort of bored is it? Not the destructive type?**

_No, not destructive._

**You know, I think it’s the weather. Sunny and bright. In London. Can’t be in a wretched mood.**

**Can you sing?**

_Can I sing? Why?_

**I have no idea. I was humming to myself and I wondered.**

**You probably can. You’re bloody good at everything else.**

_I don’t think it’s the weather. I’m not in a good mood, but I’m not in a bad mood either._

_I’ve never tried. Haven’t had a reason to try singing._

**Never tried singing…what about dancing?**

_What kind of dancing? Real dancing or the sorry excuse of it found in clubs?_

**Sorry for the delay, but I imagined you dancing in a club and I had to stop walking because I was laughing too hard.**

**No I was not referring to club dancing.**

**Though I suspect you would excel at that if you tried. Seduce the pants off of every man and woman in the place.**

_Oh, John. Of course I can. That is one of the few things I can’t seem to delete._

**Well that is something I am going to need to see.**

_That depends. Are you referring to me dancing or me seducing the pants off every man and woman in a club?_

**Well, considering I’ve never seen you dance like that, nor have I seen you actually try to seduce someone, both. That’d be an interesting sight.**

_I’d rather just show you the dancing._

_Can you dance?_

**HA**

**God no I can’t dance**

_I can teach you._

**I don’t think club dancing will benefit me at all. I’m a forty year old man. I don’t have any business moving my body like that.**

**Ballroom dancing, salsa, tango, waltz…those are more my appropriate area.**

_I’m not talking about club dancing. I never was._

**Oh.**

**You know how to waltz?**

_That is what I said, yes._

**That is also something I need to see.**

_I can do that. Do you want to learn?_

**Are you offering to teach me to dance?**

_Yes._

**I’m not sure about that, Sherlock.**

_What? Why not? What’s wrong with me offering to teach you how to dance?_

**Social norms.**

_I don’t understand why you care so much about social norms, even when we’re alone in our flat._

_Fine. Forget I said anything._

**No, Sherlock. Please.**

**I did say I wanted to learn.**

**I want you to teach me.**

**Please?**

_If I say yes, you won’t back out once we begin?_

**It’ll be difficult, I have to admit. I know where the hands go. But I trust you to teach me.**

**Well, I trust you enough to know you’ll keep the groping to a minimum.**

_That’s what you’re worried about? I’m not going to grope you, John._

**That, my dear Sherlock, was a joke.**

**I know you won’t.**

_Now I might just have to as payback for that._

**Keep it above the waist and we’ll be just fine. I understand it’ll be difficult to resist my perfect arse, but you’re a strong man.**

_But your arse is just so tempting, John. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to resist it._

_Sorry. That was uncalled for. Delete that._

**Oh hell no.**

**That’s hilarious, Sherlock. Relax. I laughed. Can’t stop grinning now.**

**Tempted to wear those pants and strut around the house. You know the ones. I actually caught you eyeing me in those.**

_Oh, God. Please don’t. Not a good idea unless you actually want me to grab your arse._

**I feel like I’ve been issued a challenge.**

**Can I dodge the eager hands of Sherlock Holmes?**

_Are you willing to take that chance?_

**It’s not chance. You wouldn’t even get close.**

_Now you are making it a challenge. How long can I keep from grabbing John’s arse while I teach him how to dance, and when I give in, how quickly can I reach the goal?_

**Ah but there will be consequences if you do give in and try.**

_Such as?_

**Such as whatever evils I can think of...**

**Imagine your microscope covered in Mycroft stickers.**

_Oh that…I don’t know if grabbing your arse is worth that._

_I guess we’ll just have to find out, won’t we?_

**I guess we will.**

_Why can’t we discuss college experimentation?_

**I’d leave that be.**

_But why?_

**College is a time in which people do a lot of things they pretend they never did.**

_So I was right, then._

**About what?**

_You did experiment with men. Thus, why Mike tried to set us up._

_It couldn’t just have been a one off, either. You had a relationship with a man, however short lived._

**That was a long time ago. Before the war. Before the army. Back when I was rebellious and irresponsible. I did a lot more than shack up with a man for a few weeks.**

**I want to not be angry with you for figuring that out. That’s what you do. But I am slightly aggravated since I told you to leave it alone.**

_Oh, John. You are impossibly interesting._

**You don’t know anything more than that I had, for lack of a better term, a boyfriend for a while. There is a lot more to it than that.**

_More to it. More that you know I would be interested in learning, but that you won’t tell me yourself. More that, should I try to find out, will cause you to resent me._

**Look, you said yourself you’d rather ask me. And I’d rather you ask than just sit there and stare at me, trying to figure it out. I don’t have any reason to keep it from you other than to save myself embarrassment.**

_Will you tell me?_

**Yes.**

_But not now._

**I don’t know.**

**I’d rather not have this conversation face to face, if I’m honest.**

_If you told me now, would it make me teaching you to dance awkward?_

**That is going to be awkward no matter what, with you trying to grab my arse and all.**

_I was joking, John. I can withstand the temptation of your arse…as long as you don’t put the other trousers on, that is._

**I may not be able to resist tempting you. Sounds like fun.**

_The consequences are your own._

_Now, if you are willing, about this old boyfriend of yours…_

_He didn’t die, did he?_

**No. My college boyfriend did not die.**

_Just making sure._

_Unless what he did was bad._

_What did he do?_

**Okay. I was a freshman, starting medical school. He was actually one of our student instructors. He was just perfect. Everything he did was perfect. He was incredibly intelligent, funny as hell, and the best at getting women. My group went out to the bar and these women just fell over him. So did all of the girls in our class. But he wasn’t interested in them. He liked the game of seduction, but never followed through. I worshipped him. The difference between him and other men I admired was how he looked at me. One day, I’m going up to him for medical advice and then I’m being snogged against the desk. He started having me follow him around as his assistant. Everyone knew, but they kept quiet about it. He’d seduced men before, but I was the first one he kept around. We were together for quite a few months. Then my dad found out. So I knew I had to do something get my dad back. But then I told my whatever-he-was I was thinking about the army. That ended it.  I was devastated. He turned instantly. Said he didn’t want to be with a lowly soldier, so he wasn’t going to be.**

_You’re not a lowly soldier, John._

_You fell in love with him and he broke your heart._

**You’re damn right I’m not a lowly soldier. I was a fucking good army doctor. He went on to work at some prestigious hospital, but he went to jail for what they said was “disregarding procedure resulting in death” or what we doctors call “doing a risky operation without consent of the patient because your ego is so big and killing them”. So it’s really fine.**

**But yes, I loved him. He took care of me, and that was new for me, since I had always been the caretaker myself. He let me relax and give him control.**

_Is that why you’re always urging me to contact Lestrade when I’m about to do something risky on a case?_

**Rather you not go to jail for your ego, yeah.**

**Haven’t had another boyfriend since.**

**Though he wasn’t the only man.**

_What do you mean?_

**Ignore that. Not sure if I even have the right to talk about that.**

_Now what does that mean? No right to talk about? Army days?_

**Look, it’s your typical army story: men all living together, experiencing these awful things that no one understands. Mick wasn’t his name, but it’s what we called him. He was the one assigned to me and vice versa. One night, we’re on a stake out and we get ambushed. My whole company starts running for their lives. Mick grabs my hand and we take off. We watched three of our men die in front of us. I wanted to help, but Mick didn’t let go. When we made it back to camp, only 14 of us were left. Out of 20. I was in the shower when it hit me and I broke down. Mick was just suddenly there behind me. That time, it was my fault. I threw him against the wall and fucked him. I couldn’t figure out why I did that. I wonder if it was because I was mad at him for saving my life and not letting me try to save the others. He didn’t mind. In fact, he wanted me to. But I hated myself. The reason I’d joined the army was to not do exactly that.  
Mick was the one I took the bullet for. He died anyways.**

_I’m sorry John._

_I probably shouldn’t have pried._

**You would have found out anyways.**

_But it’s not really my business, is it?_

**It is, though.**

**Because it was my job to protect him. To take that bullet for him. To kill for him. To die for him. But then it wasn’t my job because I would do it anyways. And when I found out he died, I told myself I’d never care about another person that much ever again.**

**I was very, very wrong.**

_John…_

**Sorry**

_No. You’re fine. I put you in the same situation that you had already been through. Had I known…_

**Known? Sherlock, you act like you did it on purpose or that it was voluntary.**

**It wasn’t at all.**

**I checked out Baker Street with you. I went to the crime scene with you. I followed you out the door to Angelos. And I wouldn’t take that back for anything.**

_Me falling? Faking my death? That was voluntary. I put you through the death of a friend, again. I know you saw it as your job to protect me, kill for me, die for me, but that you would do it anyways. Then I made you watch me die._

_I’ve hurt you more than you could ever hurt me._

**You did it to protect me. I was very angry with you for doing that to me. But when I knew why, I understood. You protect me. I would have done the same.**

_Where are you, John?_

**_Brother, dear, your doctor has been sitting on a park bench looking crestfallen for an hour. Do tell him to return to Baker street. –MH_ **

_John, please stop sitting on that bench and come home._

**How did you even do that?**

_You were going to be home a while ago, but you’re not. You had to have either stopped in a café or stayed in the park. Park is more likely. You don’t like sitting in cafes without ordering._

**Bloody git.**

**I’m on my way.**

_Thank you. I’ll teach you how to dance when you get here, if you’re still interested._

**Absolutely.**

**Do me a favour first?**

_Anything._

**Make sure there aren’t any cameras in the flat. I don’t want Mycroft watching me fail at this.**

_I check weekly. There aren’t any._

**Then…shall we dance?**

_Of course, my dear John._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the trouble these two are about to get into... thank you guys for all of your lovely comments! You are all fantastic! Keep it up! We like to know what you're thinking!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who were concerned at the last update, I should tell you to read this one because, oddly enough, it deals with exactly what was pointed out. Hope you enjoy!

**It appears I need to order me some Mycroft stickers.**

_Oh come on. You can’t blame me for that. You were practically shaking your arse at me._

**I was walking toward the stairs!**

_I’m hiding my microscope._

**Oh, don’t bother. In order to punish you, you have to remember that I would then have Mycroft stickers and I don’t want that anymore than you do.**

_Good._

_Still, you did bring it upon yourself. I warned you not to change into those trousers._

**I didn’t. I was already wearing them.**

**Okay that was a lie.**

**I did change into them.**

**But it was too tempting.**

_So was your arse._

**Touche, git.**

**Thank you for teaching me that. I hope I wasn’t too irritating as a student.**

_Not at all. I quite enjoyed it. Don’t worry, you only stepped on my feet a few times. Less and less as we continued._

**Well, I’m glad no toes were broken.**

**You were very…good.**

**I mean, as a teacher, but I mean, I expected you to…I don’t know…take advantage.**

_Thank you._

_I was teaching you do to dance, John. I wouldn’t take advantage, it would have been a distraction from the dancing._

**You are utterly hilarious sometimes.**

_What?_

**Nothing.**

**Who taught you to dance?**

_I was taught as a child, the more complex ones as a teen. I had no choice, really. It had been helpful on a few cases, and I can’t seem to delete it anyways. Muscle memory, probably._

**It’s somewhat endearing to be honest. Big bad detective knows how to dance.**

_This ‘big bad detective’ can also play violin. Shall we see if I can sing as well?_

**Oh God…is that you?**

**How do you even KNOW that song?**

_Who else would it be?_

**Ohhhh my god**

**I really should have prepared myself for this.**

_You all right up there?_

**Yeah. Yeah. Just fine.**

**All good.**

**Super swell.**

_Shall I try singing something else?_

**I don’t think I could stop you.**

**I seriously need to see you actively seduce someone. I am starting to believe that you could literally have anyone. Singing, musical talent, genius, dancing…you’re like the whole package.**

_Ah, yes. But on top of singing, the musical talent, the genius, and the dancing, I’m an insufferable bastard with little social skills._

_Let’s see if you like this song, shall we?_

**How do you even KNOW that song? Let alone that movie?**

**Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory seems a bit beneath you.**

_Yes, well. It’s not. How about this?_

**Oh you’re a bad, bad man.**

**The Way You Look Tonight?**

**You give Sinatra a run for his money, ya bastard.**

**How did you know?**

_I noticed and remembered. I told you: nothing of you gets erased._

_You love it._

**Yes. I love that song quite a bit.**

**I think you may have given me a new favorite version.**

**You prick.**

_Should I try another Sinatra song?_

**Are you trying to kill me?**

**Oh.**

**I said I wanted to see you seduce someone.**

_Yes, you did._

**I didn’t expect you to target me.**

_Really?_

**That’s NOT what you’re doing?**

**You’re NOT targeting me?**

**Oh, God. Ignore me.**

_It is, sort of. I am somewhat targeting you. More flirting that seducing, really._

_Unless it’s…is it working?_

**No!**

**I just have a…thing for singing.**

**Swing singers specifically.**

**You got lucky.**

_Interesting._

_Not luck. Observation._

**Stop that! Nat King Cole?**

**You? You know L-O-V-E?**

**That doesn’t make any sense.**

_Why does that not make sense? I actually find this style of music fairly tolerable._

**You are purposely tormenting me now, aren’t you?**

_You consider this me tormenting you?_

**It’s a mix of seduction and torment.**

**I’m just glad you’re downstairs.**

_Oh?_

**I don’t want to know what I would do if this was a live show.**

_I do._

**No you don’t.**

**You could end up dead.**

**Suffocated beneath my pillow.**

**Strangled.**

**Shot.**

_You want me to stop that badly?_

**No.**

**I don’t want you to stop at all.**

_Suffocation? Strangulation? Shot?_

**Or none of the above.**

**I should really sleep.**

_I think I’ll keep singing. I quite like it._

**Planning on singing me to sleep?**

**Oh God, is that Elton John? How? HOW are you good at singing that?**

_Why not? I play you to sleep on my violin sometimes. I just have to substitute my voice tonight._

**I shouldn’t encourage you.**

**Men don’t do that.**

**Violin is one thing. Singing is another.**

_Can we just stop with all this ‘men don’t do that’ rubbish?_

**I’m just trying to keep some sort of normality in all of this. Flatmates don’t sing to each other to sleep.**

**But we do, don’t we?**

_We do a lot of things “normal flatmates” don’t usually do._

**Noticed.**

_And is that how you think of me?_

**What do you mean?**

_Flatmate instead of friend._

**You are my friend. You’re also my flatmate.**

**Friends don’t sing to each other either really.**

_They can._

**Yeah. I guess they can.**

**Take requests?**

_Of course._

**Ever heard of the Sound of Music?**

_Yes._

**Something Good is a classic.**

_All right._

**Goodnight Sherlock.**

**And thank you.**

_You’re welcome. Goodnight John._

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

_I heard you._

**What?**

_You’re not asleep. I could hear you._

**What are you even on about?**

**So I haven’t fallen asleep yet. What’s your point?**

_Don’t play stupid, John._

**I’m not.**

_You were masturbating, John. I could hear you._

**What the hell?! Why were you even listening?**

**So what? I had a wank before bed.**

**I do that from time to time.**

**What of it?**

**And why are you listening?**

**Why do you care?**

_I wasn’t listening. I was singing and I could still hear you._

**All right fine.**

**So you heard me.**

**What of it?**

_Nothing, really. Just thought you should know that you’re a bit…vocal when you think you can’t be heard._

**No, that’s not it.**

**You would not have texted me if it was just me being…vocal. Because then you’ve probably heard me before.**

_Your point?_

**That IS my point: What’s YOUR point in texting me?**

_I wanted to._

**Why?**

_Do I need a reason?_

**Of course. You always have a reason.**

**Oh God.**

**I swear I wasn’t…getting off on you singing.**

**The mood just struck me, okay?**

**I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.**

_Oh, I highly doubt that, John. And you didn’t make me uncomfortable._

**What the hell do you mean by that?**

_Oh. I’m sure the mood just struck you, especially based on your reactions to me singing._

**It did.**

**It had nothing to do with you.**

**Just because you have a nice singing voice doesn’t mean I’m getting off on it.**

_Why did you choose that song?_

**I like it. So what?**

_You’re being a tad too defensive, John._

**No, I’m not!**

**Look, fine, yes. You singing might have…tipped the scales. But it wasn’t just that.**

**And why did you text me? To what end? Embarrass the hell out of me? Yes, Sherlock, I did masturbate to the sound of my flatmate singing Sinatra. There! Is that what you want?**

**Oh my God**

**Ignore that**

**Delete it**

_What else?_

**Nothing.**

**Please don’t.**

**I’ve done enough damage.**

_Why John? Why shouldn’t I ask? What damage?_

**Sherlock please**

**I don’t know what my head is doing right now**

**Don’t make me figure it out**

_John, please. If this has anything at all to do with me, I need to know._

**Jesus, Sherlock, why can’t you just leave this alone?**

**God, this has been plaguing me ever since I found out.**

**I’m not gay and yet you’ve got me questioning everything!**

**Out of guilt or whatever. I don’t want to hurt you. So I play and joke and pretend that it’s all fine. I try to find some way to keep it normal between us and I keep…flirting and you flirt back and it actually feels fine.**

**It’s not all fine.**

**I knew I wasn’t gay. And then you drag out buried memories and suddenly I’m lavishing in your arms, thrilled to be dancing, responding to joking flirtation, getting hard at your voice, and coming to you hitting a low note.**

**So please Sherlock**

**Let it go**

_John, I…_

_‘Plaguing’. That’s what my feelings for you are._

_I never should have told you._

**No! I didn’t mean it like that!**

**It’s not your fault.**

**It’s mine.**

**I’m the one handling it like a child**

**Please**

_What would you do if I came up to your room, right now?_

**I don’t know.**

**I suspect stop breathing.**

_If I walked into your room and started singing as I stepped closer, what would you do?_

**Stop it**

**That’s not fair**

**It’s not just your voice**

**I mean that certainly…alerted me**

**The dancing didn’t help**

**Look don’t ask me this**

_John, please. I need an answer. I’d come into your room now, singing Sinatra to you. I’d pull you out of your bed and start dancing. Please, what would you do?_

**Why do you NEED an answer?**

**I don’t know**

**I’m terrified**

**Look, we both know there was a…moment earlier.**

**I might kiss you, all right?**

**I said it. I might. And I might not stop kissing you.**

**Not until you’re unable to speak.**

**And then who knows?**

**But I didn’t do that earlier because I don’t want to hurt you. I’m uncertain. I won’t risk you.**

**…what was that?**

_Nothing, John._

_What was what?_

**That noise.**

**What on earth are you doing down there?**

_What noise, John? You’re not making any sense._

**You…haven’t said anything about…what I just said.**

**I mean, I did just admit something rather big and you’re ignoring it.**

**THAT noise.**

**Are you okay?**

_I’m fine John. Perfectly fine._

_You want my comment on what you said? All right. I want to kiss you, properly kiss you. God, you have no idea how much I wish I had been paying attention at the crime scene._

**I almost let you today.**

**I should have let you.**

**God, I’m a fucking arse. Ignore that. I’ve been flirting with you. Actual flirting. I never once thought of how it might hurt you, I just wanted to get something normal between us. And I just kept at it. Now I’ve dug myself a fucking hole in my head that suddenly seems gargantuan and I keep going back and forth between wanting and confusion.**

_Oh, John._

**It’s not fair of me to suddenly want that. It’s the dredging up of the old memories. It’s messed with my mind.**

**Sherlock. I hear something. You cannot tell me you can’t hear it.**

_Will you let me kiss you? Just once?_

**Sherlock, that’s a horrible idea.**

**It won’t be just once.**

_Please, John._

**It’ll start that way, but then once will become “once more” and then “just one more time”. I don’t want to lead you on when I don’t even know what my head is doing.**

**Part of me knows too that, right now, one kiss is liable to…not stop.**

_John, please. Just one. That’s all.  I won’t ask for more. I just need the one. I need to know what it felt like._

**SHERLOCK**

**ARE YOU DOING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE DOING?**

_Depends, John. What is it that you think I’m doing?_

**Sherlock…**

**Oh my God, you are, aren’t you?**

_Am I what?_

**Are you…masturbating?**

_Oh, that._

_Yes._

**Jesus Christ**

**What the hell else are you doing??**

_What do you mean?_

**What do you mean ‘oh that’ as if that’s not the first thing I should think of?**

**WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME?**

**HOW ARE YOU TEXTING ME?**

_I have two hands._

**Oh my God**

**Sherlock, what are you even getting off on?**

**Oh**

**You wanted me to tell you**

**You knew why I touched myself. You knew I wanted to kiss you. You just wanted me to admit it.**

_Yes._

**What the hell are you getting off to? I said I was considering kissing you. That isn’t enough to get you off.**

_How would you know what is and isn’t enough to get me off?_

**You don’t seem the “easily pleased” type is all.**

**Why am I still texting you? You’re wanking, for god’s sake.**

_That’s a good question. Why are you? And to answer your previous question of ‘what am I getting off to’, need I remind you that I heard you._

**Oh fuck**

_Oh don’t stop texting me now. Come on. Answer the question. What would you do if I came up to your room?_

**Sherlock, please. I don’t know!**

_I could just walk up there right now and find out._

**No don’t!**

**You’re…busy.**

_Ignore that. I’ll come up stairs. What do you do?_

**You won’t actually come up the stairs.**

**You’re not actually asking.**

**You’re not looking for a real answer.**

_Then what am I looking for?_

**Stimulation.**

_I said ignore that. I’ve stopped. I’m pretty sure I’m looking for an answer._

**How in the hell did you stop?**

**You shouldn’t stop.**

**I didn’t.**

**That’s not fair.**

_I shouldn’t?_

**No, you shouldn’t.**

**Don’t.**

_Don’t what?_

**Don’t stop.**

_Oh, god, John, are you actually…_

**Like I said**

**Not fair for you to get me off and have me not return the favor**

**If you came up here, I’d be terrified. But I wouldn’t push you away if you kissed me.**

**In fact, I’d probably pull you into me and kiss you more.**

_God, yes. I’d push you back until you hit the wall, pin you there as I ravish your lips, then move to your neck to do the same._

**Oh God Sherlock**

**You would take control, wouldn’t you?**

**I’d try, but I’d lose.**

_I would, maybe not every time, but I would this time._

**I’ve stared at your lips before. Wondered what they felt like. Never thought about them anywhere but on my lips. That’s changing this evening.**

**I’d take off your shirt. I’d need to see at least that part of you.**

**Touch your skin.**

**You always look so fragile.**

**But you’re not, are you?**

_You can find out for yourself._

**I’d like to.**

**Did you just**

**Was that my name?**

**Sherlock? Did you just say my name?**

_Yes._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave any questions, comments, or concerns as we are more than happy to read them and answer any inquiries.


	9. Chapter 9

_John, are you going to avoid the flat all day? I know you don’t work today, so don’t try that excuse._

**I decided to take a coworker’s shift this morning.**

_It is no longer morning. You would not be texting if you were at work, so either you’re lying or this supposed ‘shift’ is over._

**Yes. The shift is over. Just having a drink with one of the nurses.**

_This early in the afternoon? John, really._

**I didn’t say it was alcoholic. It’s just coffee.**

_Ah, getting a coffee with one of the nurses. Won’t she be put off with your texting?_

**She knows it’s you. She expected it.**

**She is friends with Sarah, after all.**

_So you’re not trying to bed her?_

**Well, not necessarily.**

**Wouldn’t mind if it went in that direction.**

_You’d think you would be rather sated for a while, what with two orgasms last night._

**I should have expected that.**

_Should have expected what? I’m just pointing out the facts._

**Sherlock, you should let that go.**

_No, I don’t think I should._

**I think you should.**

_I won’t._

**Sherlock, I told you. I was not in my right mind last night. You really need to just delete it.**

_And I told you, John. Nothing of you gets deleted._

**I warned you. I didn’t want you to read into it. I knew I was gonna hurt you if I kept it up.**

_What makes you think you’ve hurt me?_

**I was weak. Bringing up old flames made me far too vulnerable and I caved. I shouldn’t have.**

**It was a one time thing. It won’t happen again. I should not have done that.**

_So you’re saying that the only reason that happened because of your memories of old partners? That it had absolutely nothing to do with me and it could have been anyone._

_That does hurt, John, right there. Dismissing it as if it was nothing._

_It mattered to me._

**I know. I’ll be fair. No, it couldn’t have been anyone. It was because of you.**

_And you’re telling me that nothing else could have happened last night? That it couldn’t have been more than us getting off from the sounds of each other getting off?_

**Sherlock, don’t. I really shouldn’t have let it happen because I was knew nothing was going to come out of it.**

_And why is that? What makes you so sure that nothing will come out of it?_

**Because I’m not gay. Because you’re my flatmate. Because my future has always had a wife and kids. Because it destroys this amazing friendship.**

_You may not be gay but you’ve slept with men and had a relationship with one. I’m your flatmate but I’m also your friend. You already had a wife, John. And do you really see yourself having children and giving up this life? How would this destroy our friendship? Is that what me being in love with you is doing?_

**Sherlock, don’t do this right now.**

_Why not? Why not address this now? We’ll have to at some point anyway, won’t we? If my feelings for you are really destroying this friendship, tell me!_

**No! They’re not destroying this friendship.**

**Not now because I’m out with someone.**

**Look, this is complicated and difficult and I don’t want to try and do this now.**

_Then when? When will you stop putting it off?_

**We were fine. We were fine when I knew you were in love with me and we carried on. I don’t see why that has to change.**

_We were fine, but now we’re not._

_I won’t be at the flat when you get back. Don’t bother me._

**Where will you be?**

_I said don’t bother me._

**Sherlock, please, at least tell me where you’ll be.**

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**Sherlock?**

**I came home. I wanted to talk about this. You’re not here.**

**I know you said you wouldn’t be, but at least tell me where you’re at.**

**Sherlock?**

**I just want to know that you’re not doing anything stupid.**

**Please just tell me you’re all right.**

**All right fine. Be that way. I don’t care.**

**Please be careful. Don’t do anything dangerous.**

**I do love you.**

**I’m sorry.**

**It’s midnight now. You’re still not back. Which is fine. You’re a big boy. You can take care of yourself. Just let me know at if you’re alive.**

**Sherlock, please, I fucked up. I know I did, okay? Just tell me you’re alive. I won’t ask you to come home. I just need to know that you’re okay.**

**I do love you. I don’t want to keep hurting you. I know I have to work out this issue in my head. I know it’s all on me.**

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**Just please. Say something. Anything to let me know you’re alive.**

Hey, John. This is Molly. Sherlock’s at my place and he’s sort of…upset, or at least upset for him. He won’t talk to me. Is everything all right? –Molly

**Oh thank God you texted. Is he all right? Physically, I mean?**

I think so. What happened, John? –Molly

**It’s complicated. I don’t know if I should say anything.**

He just showed up at the morgue, snapping at me more than usual until he just went silent. He kept glaring at his phone whenever it pinged. I could practically feel the anger coming from him, John. If you’re who he’s pissed at…I haven’t seen him this angry in a long time. He followed me home, stole my bed, actually, but I don’t think he’s going home tonight. –Molly

**I messed up. I messed up really badly. I’m starting to get worried that I won’t be able to fix it.**

**He stole your bed?? God, Molly, I am so sorry.**

Oh, no! It’s fine, John. Really. He’s crashed at my place before, and he doesn’t like my couch. –Molly

**He’s such a bastard, isn’t he?**

He is, but we still love him, right? –Molly

I would ask if I could help, but I’m sensing that this isn’t something I can help with. –Molly

**I don’t know. Maybe you could. Doubt you’d want to.**

Of course I want to help, John! He’s my friend, you both are. I care about both of you. –Molly

**You’re a good girl, Molly. Don’t ever let anyone treat you like less than a queen.**

**Basically, Sherlock told me something intensely personal and I haven’t been handling it well. And I may have really messed up because I did something kind of crazy last night and ended up denying it this morning.**

**None of that makes sense. In short, I am hurting Sherlock a lot and I don’t know how to make it better.**

He told you he’s in love with you? –Molly

**What the hell! How did you know that?**

I already knew, John. It was a bit obvious, even before his...fall. I probably noticed it before he did, not that he’d admit it. It’s just the way he is around you. He’s not like that with anyone else. Just you. –Molly

**I guess everyone thinks that way, so I can’t be surprised. But it’s a joke to most people.**

I don’t think most people can really see it. They see two men who are close and assume they’re together. But I like to think I know Sherlock better than the average person, and I can see it, John. –Molly

**Yes well you seem to be handling it a lot better than I am.**

I was sad when I figured it out, but if you’re who he fell in love with…you make him better, so who am I to complain? I knew my crush would never go anywhere. –Molly

**It’d be nice if it did. Really, I mean that. You would be better for him. I’m the one he wants and I can’t want him back.**

You can’t? What is it with you men and your totally closed mind? Just because you’re “not gay” doesn’t mean you can’t be with a man. I mean, it’s worth a shot, isn’t it? –Molly

**But I’m NOT gay. Why in the hell would I be with someone if I’m not attracted to them? I don’t want to try being with Sherlock only to realize it won’t work later.**

Do you love him? –Molly

**Yeah but not like he loves me.**

You’re sure about that? Completely sure? There is _zero_ chance that you could love him back in the same way? And there’s _zero_ chance you’re attracted to him? –Molly

**There’s not…zero chance.**

Then why not try? A relationship doesn’t mean sex, John. –Molly

**Because I’m not gay! It’s not just the sex. It’s the fact that I don’t want a relationship with a man.**

But why is that so out of the question for you? What is it that you’re afraid of? –Molly

**I don’t know**

**Oh God, Molly, I don’t know.**

**I almost kissed him yesterday. And then…something kind of happened and I tried to blow it off this morning and I’ve hurt him.**

**I don’t know why I’m fighting it.**

If you don’t have a reason, then stop fighting. –Molly

**I don’t know why I’m scared of it, Molly. But I am. I’m bloody terrified of it. Being with him…it’s endgame. He’s the one or he’s not. There’s no in between.**

So you’re afraid of being wrong? If it helps, John, I don’t think you are. I think it might be the best thing to happen to either of you apart from meeting. Think about it, all right. –Molly

**Thanks Molly. I really hope your next crush isn’t a complete and total inconsiderate git. Or at least not gay.**

Or a psychopath that kills people for a living. Yeah, I hope so too. –Molly

I think Sherlock knows it’s you I’m texting, so I better stop. Sleep well, John. Please consider it. It could be the best decision of your life. –Molly

**Again, thank you.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, John's being an idiot. But give him a break; there's a lot going on in that head of his.  
> Questions, comments, concerns? Let us know!


	10. Chapter 10

**It’s late afternoon, which you know. I’m home from another shift to an empty flat. I really would like to not make a habit of this. I’m sorry. I know I messed up pretty royally and it’s going to take a lot for you forgive me. But it’s worth it, because then I’ll have you back. At least tell me you’re alive and not still burn-me-alive mad at me.**

_Still alive._

**Thank you.**

_Still angry with you._

**Understood.**

_Not the ‘burn you alive’ level, but still._

**Sherlock, I am sorry. I know I reacted so badly. I am surprised you’ve resumed direct contact. But I’ve thought about this whole thing. I’ve had a lot of time to think. And I want to start over with this. Fresh start.**

**And I want to expand on some recent discoveries.**

_Go on._

**I would argue, but I need to be open and honest. With you and myself.**

**Obviously, I’m attracted to you.**

**I have clearly internalized it, made almost self-homophobic. I suspect this has to do with my father and his expectations of me. Not to mention both experiences I’ve had in the past have been negative. But that’s in the past and father’s dead. I am attracted to you and there is no reason not to admit that.**

_Good. Glad you’ve finally admitted that. Now what?_

**There is one thing I’m still afraid of.**

_What is it?_

**I’m fairly certain it wouldn’t be difficult on the physical side of things.**

**That may not have been the first time I have gotten off because of you. Directly or indirectly.**

**But when it comes to anything else, I’m scared. I don’t want something to go wrong and lose you.**

_How long?_

**Do I have to answer that?**

_I’d like it if you did._

**If I fight the urge to deny it, I was attracted to you from day one. You were mysterious, aloof, brilliant, exciting, striking in appearance, and no one could touch you. But you let me in. You invited me in. I’ve been attracted to you since day one.**

_But only in the physical sense?_

**There was a nightmare. One day, after the Fall. I woke up sobbing and shaking. And I missed you so badly. And I ended up…tossing off trying to imagine you saying my name. That was probably why the other night got to me.**

**I don’t want to call it anything more.**

**But if I did, then yes. I’ve been yours since the first day. I was yours then, I became yours again after the pool. I was undeniably yours after the Fall. I was mandated yours when you returned. I am yours now.**

_Then what are you afraid of? It ending? Why would it end?_

**I don’t know, but it could.**

_I won’t leave you, John. Not again._

**You don’t know that.**

**You could really die.**

_Yes I could. But so could you._

**It was hard enough before. If you died and we were…**

**Well, I wouldn’t be far behind.**

_So you’re afraid to risk it on the off chance I’ll die on the next case? You’ve lost friends before and you were fine. You lost your wife and you’re still alive._

**I barely made it through that, Sherlock. But right after she died, you came back. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have made it.**

_I do wish I would have had the chance to meet her. Thank her for taking care of you._

**It’s not just death.**

**You could lose interest.**

_I wouldn’t lose interest. I’ve loved you for years already and my interest hasn’t wavered. Well, there was the Woman, but that was more of a distraction._

**And what about the next distraction? What if the next one takes you from me?**

**And don’t think I’m off the hook. You could annoy me to the point that I don’t want to come back. Or I could go through something stupid that drives me to the brink. I’ve chased women all this time. What if I fuck up?**

_No one could take me from you, and if you think I would give you up without a fight, you’re greatly mistaken._

_John, please don’t deny us both this._

**I pissed you off and you disappeared for two days.**

**That doesn’t seem like fighting.**

_You hurt me and made me feel like my feelings were meaningless. I needed to calm down._

**I just would rather keep things as they are. If I actively make things more intense between us, it’s going to increase the danger level of our lives.**

_You like the danger._

**Sherlock, I don’t think you understand. Do you remember what I just told you? About Mick?**

_Refresh my memory, if you would._

**I took a bullet for him. We had one sexual encounter and I was willing to die for him.**

_You were willing to die for him before you had sex with him._

**I was willing to take a bullet for any of my men, sure. But I would not have even seen that he was in danger if I wasn’t desperate to protect him.**

_But…you’re already like that with me. You’ve offered to die for me before._

**I’ve been willing to die for you. I’ve killed for you. I’ve thrown myself headfirst into danger for you at every turn. But that was more because you were like a brother in arms.**

_And how would a relationship with me change that?_

**I cannot imagine the raw intensity that would follow if we were lovers. It would be a blinding need to protect you. It would consume me. Your safety, contentment would be my priority in a way I’ve never experienced. It is terrifying to consider the lengths I would go to take care of you. I would make any sacrifice to keep you safe, even if I had to let you go. Even if I had to hurt you to protect you. I cannot imagine what I would be like.**

**Oh my God**

**I don’t have to imagine it. I know what I would look like.**

**I would look like a man on a rooftop, willing to let the man he loves believe he was a fraud. I would look like a man willing to let the man he loves believe he’d killed himself. I would look like a man willing to let the man he loves believe he was dead for three years.**

**Oh my God, Sherlock.**

_Now do you see, John?_

**Sherlock, I’m so sorry. God, I am so sorry. I understand. I really understand now.**

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**_Care to explain to me why Dr. Watson just collapsed against a wall on Crawford St? His knees seemed to give out and he’s clutching to his chest. Shall I call emergency services? I do believe he is sobbing as well. –MH_ **

_Not that it’s any of your business, but he understands now. All of it. Everything I’ve done and why. I’m not sure he’d appreciate having an ambulance pick him up. Send one of your cars to get him. Take him back to the flat. I’ll meet him there. –SH_

**_You think I’m just going to have me men cart him two measly blocks? –MH_ **

_Yes, I think so. I’m asking, Mycroft. –SH_

**_If you insist. –MH_ **

**_I did try to warn you that caring is a dangerous disadvantage. It will only become worse for you both now. –MH_ **

_It’s not a disadvantage with him. –SH_

**_I do hope that you prove me entirely and utterly wrong, little brother. –MH_ **

_I will. –SH_

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

_John, a car is going to get you and take you back to the flat. I will be there. I promise._

**Why the hell do you think I need a car?**

_It’s either a car or an ambulance and I figured you would prefer the flat over hospital._

**I don’t need to go to hospital. Where is this coming from?**

**Why did you send Mycroft to take me two bloody streets over?**

_You collapsed against a wall, John._

**So not only is he actively and shamelessly spying on me, he’s actually running to you to keep tabs on me?**

_He seems to have kept the habit even though I’ve returned, yes._

**If I were in any other mindset than “would I do that to protect Sherlock?”, I might be irritated.**

**Look, when I get there, I think I need to just go straight to my room and be left alone. I need some time to myself. To think things through.**

_All right, John._

_I do believe Mycroft’s will be giving you my violin, as well. If you would be so kind as to leave it in the living room, I would be grateful._

**Of course.**

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**You know, playing my favorite songs is not entirely helping me keep my thoughts unbiased.**

_I happen to like the songs as well. Just testing the tuning anyways._

**You were doing that forty-five minutes ago. What you’re doing now is showing off.**

_I’m testing the fix._

**Call it what you like.**

**Sounds lovely.**

_It’s a bit off. More tuning to be done._

**Sounds all right to my uncultured ears.**

_Yes, well. My ears are more finely tuned than yours._

**Don’t make excuses. You’re on the verge of calling me an imbecile. I can feel it.**

_Only slightly. Refraining._

_Won’t talking to me bias your thoughts?_

**Only slightly. Refraining.**

_Very funny._

**Oh, you’re a bad, bad man. Do you just have a sheet of my favourites down there?**

_Should I stop?_

**God no.**

**I could be a bad, bad man, you know.**

_What exactly are you implying, Dr. Watson?_

**I am implying that I may have a trick or two to make your knees collapse instead of mine.**

_I’m trying so hard to refrain from a flirtatious retort._

**…don’t.**

_I’d very much be interested in these tricks of yours, John._

**Well, do you remember what happened the last time you sang?**

_Of course._

**I’d like to hear you sing again.**

_What would you like to hear?_

**I’d like to hear you sing, but this time, not distorted by a wooden floor.**

**And this time, I want you to watch what it does to me.**

_Will I get to help?_

**Is it all right if this time, we just stick to watching?**

_Of course, John. Do you want to join me down stairs or shall I come to your room?_

**Come join me.**

**And when you’ve seen enough, I want to hear what other noises that throat can make.**

_Oh, definitely John._

**I’m afraid I’ve started without you.**

_Don’t stop. Headed up now._

**Eagerly awaiting to hear your song live.**

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

_John, while you’re at the store, get some coffee filters and baking soda._

**…for what?**

_Would you believe me if I said for coffee and stain remover?_

**Not in the slightest.**

_Didn’t think so._

**Then what is it for?**

_Experiment. Nothing too explosive. I’m moving my experiments back to the flat._

**Define too explosive.**

_Not combustible._

**Just don’t tamper with my scones or biscuits. Or my tea.**

_Fair enough._

**Sorry I’ve been out all day. I haven’t had the chance to talk to you about… anything.**

_At least you’re not denying it now. I call that an improvement._

**I think it’d be fairly ridiculous to deny that.**

_It would. What have you been doing, anyways? Working?_

**Yeah. One of the doctors is sick. I picked up the tab.**

**Would you like to know something?**

_Is it something I would be interested in?_

**Based on your reaction to observing me last night, I’d say so.**

_Oh. Then, yes. I would like to know._

**I took an hour break today. Somewhat impromptu, but as a patient came in and his ringtone was “The Way You Look Tonight”, I had to lock myself in my office.**

_Hm. Have I thoroughly ruined the song for you, John?_

**I’d call it a bit of a trigger. It brought me back to the memory.**

**You know, my desk is about my waist height.**

_Which means?_

**Just an observation. I was leaning over it. Had to clean it off.**

**Is it wrong that I want to… repeat last night?**

_God, John. No, it’s not wrong. Last night was… well._

**Well?**

_Memorable, to say the least._

**Say the most.**

_Memorable, fantastic, amazing, arousing, beautiful, lacking, wanting, needing._

**So… know where I can find a consulting detective with a velvet voice and an insatiable lust for washed up army doctors?**

_Well, the only one I can think of is currently sitting in the back of a taxi._

**Oh? Where is this consulting detective headed?**

_Back to his flat from Saint Bart’s._

**Should I send the washed up army doctor to the flat?**

_That all depends on what would happen when they both got there._

**Well, I’ve got a few ideas. What did you have in mind?**

_I think the velvet voiced consulting detective would very much like to snog his army doctor._

**Oh. Right.**

_Too much?_

**It shouldn’t be.**

_But it is. Apologies._

_I’ll just make us some tea. We can watch a movie, if you want._

**No you shouldn’t have to apologise.**

**I don’t know why that has me feeling iffy.**

**I watched you. You watched me. And it was…mutual stimulation. And yet snogging seems… off.**

_Snogging requires touching. Just watching, you can stay detached. Touching changes that._

**You think that’s it?**

_What do you think?_

**I don’t know.**

**I want you. I mean, now that we’ve gotten past the first part, I can admit to wanting you so badly. And yet, I can’t.**

**Maybe a movie would be a good start. Maybe we can start slow. Like… cuddling.**

**Oh God that sounds awful.**

_No, it’s fine. We’ve done it before. We can do that._

_It’s all right, John._

**No it’s not.**

**Sorry. Ignore me. I’m having a tiny panic attack.**

**Ignore that.**

_John? Where are you? I’ll come to you._

**Calm down. Not an actual attack.**

**Just internal thoughts.**

_You’re the one that said ‘panic attack’. Did you expect me not to worry?_

**I promise. I’m physically all right. Breath a little short, but it’s fine. I’m on my way home.**

_You’re sure?_

**Yes. I’m just being an idiot. It’s like I’m back in secondary.**

_Back in secondary?_

**I’m fretting over romantic idiocy. Well, I supposed I’ve been doing that for a while, but over a kiss?**

_Technically, I’ve already kissed you._

**Technically, we dismissed that one.**

_Technically, that is true, but if it helps make things easier…_

**I want our first kiss to be… something a bit more.**

**Oh there’s the panic again.**

_Think about what movie you want to watch, we can think of planning a possible kiss later._

**See, I don’t think I should plan it. Spontaneity is important in that. Just the moment you share with a person and suddenly you both just know you’re about to kiss.**

_I think I understand._

_It’s easier for you to express yourself at a distance at this time. I will try to respect that._

**Thank you, Sherlock.**

_So does that mean I can pester you at work with salacious texts?_

**Oh bloody hell.**

_That’s not a no, John._

**…we’ll see.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to sincerely thank you guys. You are so dedicated to the fic and I thank you for reading it and reading into it with the level you have. You were absolutely correct; that was not a sexuality crisis and it never really was. The little, offhand comment at the bottom had been me trying to see if perhaps I could make the update above seem more surprising when this update came out, but you are all incredibly intelligent and saw right through it. It's never been John worried about being gay, but John worried about being in love.
> 
> As always, let us know what you think! And thank you again for your continued reading!


	11. Chapter 11

_John, Lestrade is refusing to give me any cold cases. I’m bored. Come home and entertain me._

**Can’t. I’ve been off work for far too long.**

_Give me something to do. I’m so bored, John._

**I’m a little busy. Find some way to entertain yourself.**

**Find some NON DESTRUCTIVE way to entertain yourself.**

_You’re no fun when you’re at work._

**Do I need to explain to you what normal work is?**

_Boring._

**…yes.**

_You don’t have a patient right now or you wouldn’t be texting me._

**Not at the moment. On a short break.**

_Then entertain me._

**How might I go about that?**

_If I knew that, I wouldn’t be bored now would I?_

**How about YOU entertain ME?**

_How so?_

**You’re the genius. Think of something.**

_Just how short is this break?_

**I still have thirty minutes.**

_Do you want me to help you masturbate or something?_

**WHAT? NO!**

**Good Lord, Sherlock…**

_What?_

**You don’t just SAY things like that.**

**Especially not when I’m at work.**

**And before you mention… that one time… it was my own fault.**

_It’s not like I actually said it. I texted it._

_Flustering you is fun. Less fun when I can’t see it, though._

**Shut up.**

**Not funny.**

**I just had my head checked for a fever.**

**Because my face was so red.**

**Just texting implants the image in my head.**

_Your blush is adorable._

**No it is not. I am not adorable!**

_You are._

**I am not!**

_You’re still blushing, aren’t you?_

**If I am, I’m not telling you.**

_Now I know you are._

**You know nothing.**

_The tips of your ears always go pink._

**Are you IN the room?**

_No._

_I just know how you look when you blush, and I know my comment  
made you blush._

**I’m going to throttle you.**

_If you like, just let me make you blush first so I can see the tips of your ears go pink as I die._

**Oh fuck you.**

_Oh, that too. I’ll gladly accept that._

**SHERLOCK**

_You said it, not me. I was only agreeing._

_If I would lower myself to the emoticon level, I would send you the winking face._

_Oh, why not. ;)_

**You smug bastard. You knew that was going to make it worse too.**

**I am telling everyone you sent me an emoticon.**

_I’ll tell everyone how to make you blush._

**God, you cannot even make this any worse.**

_Any more nurses come to take your temperature?_

_Oh, I could._

**Where is your off switch? I am in need or immediate access.**

_Ha, if I told you, I would miss out on watching you try to find it._

**But that confirms you do have one.**

_It will be very fun to see you find it._

**…what the hell does that mean?**

_Oh, nothing. Nothing at all._

**Sherlock…**

_John…_

**Wow I’m going to kill you.**

_As I said, just let me make you blush first._

**Hope you run faster than you think, or else there’s no chance of escape for you.**

**I have a patient now. So hush.**

_I wonder how far down your chest that blush goes._

_I’d very much like to find out._

_I wonder if it’s pink like your ears or red like your cheeks._

_I should figure out a way to measure the amount of heat your blush puts off._

**SHERLOCK I SAID HUSH NOT MAKE IT WORSE**

_But I’m bored, John._

**Why are you insisting on making me look like a tomato?**

_It’s adorable._

**You are going to need to get a head start or else it’ll be unsatisfying when I track you down and murder you.**

_Oh, John. Keep talking like that. I love it._

**No seriously, I’m going to have so much fun wringing your neck.**

_Yes, just like that. Go on. Tell me more._

**SHERLOCK**

_What?_

**It’s not entirely on to insinuate that you are getting off on the idea of me killing you.**

_Your reaction is fun, though._

**That’s because I’m not even sure if you’re joking. You would get off on the strangest things.**

_I am joking, John._

**I’d think so. You couldn’t toss off to you being dead. Not with your ego.**

_Not to me being dead, no._

**I’ve got fifteen till the next one, and since you’ve been playing this game with me, go on. What does get you off, then?**

_Well, obviously you. I like it when_

_Wait. Why should I tell you? I could let you discover it._

**That is pure evil and was entirely expected.**

**You’re getting predictable, Sherlock. How disappointing.**

_I like watching you figuring things out._

**Oh a patient is here.**

_Oh, joy. Another half hour of radio silence._

_Fine. I won’t go into detail on my own body, I want you to discover those, but I’ll try to elaborate on you._

_I like your blush, obviously._

_I love your smile, your laugh._

_I love how you puff up when you take command to make up for your stature._

_I love watching you piece things together in your mind; slower than me, obviously, but faster than most everyone else._

_No, wait. This is just a list of things I love about you, not what gets me off. Apologies._

_I love the way you stimulate my mind, and body if I’m honest. I love the sounds you make._ _I love the idea of kissing you, as that has yet to happen between us._ _I love how you seem to come up with the most sinfully erotic ideas to entice me._

**You. Utter. Bastard.**

**This is what I come back to? God, they’re going to think I’m sick.**

_You expected anything else?_

**So…you like my “sinfully erotic” ideas?**

_I would think that after watching me masturbate to the sight of you doing the same, you would have gotten that by now. The no touching rule that evening, while torturous and necessary, was nevertheless erotic._

**I wonder how you’d react if I decided to sit in my room, strip off my clothes, and just smoke until the room was saturated. Then let you in.**

_I believe my stance on respecting your physical contact boundaries would be compromised if that were to happen._

**Ahh last patient of the night.**

_You should do that regardless, you know. Imagine making cigarettes into a Pavlov’s Bell for me, much like Sinatra is for you. A single hint of smoke and I’m keening. It wouldn’t take much._

_Oh, but my knowledge of the experiment might ruin it. Damn._

_I’m serious, though. Do it. That would be lovely. Or have I been too annoying today to deserve that?_

**Imagine how my skin would probably taste. Every inch of me, covered in smoke.**

_Again, my position would be compromised._

**I think I’ll stop for a drink.**

_You are a bad man, Dr Watson._

**You love it.**

_Yes I do._

**I’m about five minutes out. What are you up to?**

_Wondering how to get on your good side. You wouldn’t reward me for pissing you off._

**No, but there are other ways to handle you when you irritate me.**

_Now I’m intrigued. Such as what?_

**I’ve been tempted to duct tape your mouth.**

**Tie you to a chair.**

**Turn you on and then leave you.**

**This took a sexual direction quickly…**

**Sorry**

_No, don’t apologise. That is… highly erotic, John. I might just have to piss you off to that point one day._

**You WOULD enjoy something like that.**

**I could put that riding crop to good use.**

**… I have no idea where that came from.**

_God, John._

_Now I don’t know if I want to make you happy or piss you off._

**Well, you’ll just have to do one and then the other, won’t you?**

_Oh, I do love how you think, John._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Sherlock, you do like to play with fire. Things are bound to get hot.
> 
> Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? You know what to do!


	12. Chapter 12

_We can cease searching for a girlfriend as a suspect. Davis was gay. Thomas Barker is the boyfriend. He and Davis’ brother are the only suspects at this time. If Davis’ brother was across town, or says he was, then could it have been Thomas Barker?_

**It could have been him, but he seemed rather genuine.**

_You’re right. Thomas was completely distraught. It couldn’t have been him._

**Glad we’re on the same page.**

_No offence, John, but shouldn’t I be a few pages ahead on this? I don’t know what I’m missing._

_Where did you go, anyway? I was talking to you._

**You had been silent for an hour. I went back to work to give you some space. Gets me a bit more money as well.**

_Oh. How long ago was that?_

**About three hours ago.**

**This is going to sound very creepy, but Davis’ brother was across town. He was adamant about that and his alibi was solid. But we didn’t check out Thomas Barker’s brother. What was his name?**

_Barker’s brother? I believe it was Andrew._

**Yes. Davis’ brother is clean. I suspect so is Thomas, going off his reaction. But there was another man there, comforting Thomas. It was Andrew. We didn’t talk to him.**

_Did anyone talk to him?_

**Just Thomas.**

_But what reason would Andrew have to kill his brother’s boyfriend? It can’t be that he’s homophobic; he loves his brother enough to comfort him. They’re not estranged; Thomas didn’t seem surprised to see him. So what reason?_

**I didn’t bring it up before because it didn’t entirely seem important, but when we examined Thomas’ phone to hear the voicemail Davis left, I noticed that Thomas had received calls from his brother at odd hours of the night. Going off the way Thomas was being consoled…**

**Basically, I think we accidentally stumbled upon something a bit disturbing.**

**I am implying what you think I’m implying.**

_So you think they… Oh._

_Well, jealousy would definitely fit the bill as motive._

**Judging by Davis’ wound being primarily in the face, as well as the defensive wounds. It would also explain the lack of evidence of forced entry.**

_But would Thomas have known what his brother was doing? Was he part of it? Did he know his brother was in love with him and that he was planning on killing Davis?_

**I think Thomas dated Davis to escape the situation, but was leaning back towards Andrew. Familiarity. Someone who has known him all his life. Family. But Davis may have picked up on it and encouraged Thomas to get out of that situation. Told him it was wrong. So that would piss off Andrew. Maybe Andrew set up the meeting with Davis to pretend to truly discuss things, and then killed him.**

**I think Thomas doesn’t want to think that his brother did it, but he knows. Meanwhile, Andrew gets Thomas back.**

_Oh, John. You are a genius! You’re lucky you’re at work or I would kiss you again. I’m going to Scotland Yard now. You just solved the case._

**…did I really?**

**No way in hell. You knew the brother did it. You’re pacifying me.**

_I am doing no so such things and you know me well enough to know I would do no such thing. I had two suspects in mind, Thomas and Davis’ brother. I didn’t even talk to Thomas’ brother. I didn’t see how the comforting was odd. I ruled him out as unimportant fairly early on, just there to help his distraught sibling. I didn’t make the connection that there was more going on than is strictly normal for two brothers until you pointed it out._

**It was just the way the brother was comforting Thomas.**

**You’d be furious if you knew why that even was a possibility in my head at all.**

_Why would I be furious?_

**Well, seeing as I have a sister, I am naïve enough to think that no one would EVER look at their sibling in that way. But then I met a man who seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with his brother and I… explored the possibility.**

_John, that is completely disgusting. I mean… Mycroft, of all people._

**I was, fortunately, wrong and it was nothing more than Mycroft being his usual pesky, creepy, and overprotective self.**

_I might vomit._

_The cabbie gave me a warning that if I vomit, I pay for clean up._

**I did warn you.**

**It’s just that I never sent out surveillance for Harry. It was new.**

_He’s the British Government and I’m an ex-addict that happens to be his brother. He’s always been overprotective._

_I’m not furious with you. Disgusted by the image. Unless… did you actually think it from my end as well? How long was that a possibility in your head?_

**No, not at all did I think it was from your end. Nor did I think Mycroft had done anything to pursue you if he DID have those feelings.**

_Can we stop talking about Mycroft? I feel like I need to scrub my brain._

**But you’re serious? I actually solved the case? Just sitting here at my desk?**

_Yes, John. You did. I really hadn’t made that connection. Not sure I would have for another few hours had I not noticed you’d left and texted you._

**I feel a bit smug.**

**So what does Lestrade say? Are they going back to the crime scene to review the physical evidence?**

_He’s sending a team over while we go over to Andrew’s house. No one even thought to question him. The only reason we have his address is because Thomas is there with him._

**Just please make sure to take Thomas aside first. In case it gets ugly. I wouldn’t want to see Harry carted off by the police.**

_If Thomas has the suspicion, he may confront Andrew. He could also be in danger. He did want out, he may still want out._

**Keep me updated. I want to know that Thomas is okay.**

**I’ll bet he’s the younger sibling.**

 

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

 

John, don’t panic. I know Sherlock’s been texting you about the case, he said you even solved it, but I need you to stay calm. I need you to come to Andrew Barker’s house. He had a gun and he shot Thomas before he ran. Sherlock chased after him, but Thomas is in critical condition. I’ve got a team here, but they don’t seem to know how to remove a bullet from someone. I need an expert. –GL

**I’m on my way. Where is Sherlock? –JW**

Don’t know. Like I said, he ran off after Andrew. –GL

**Find him. I’ve got an ambulance en route. –JW**

**Tell Thomas it’s going to be all right. –JW**

Thanks. Sherlock’s not answering me. The man must still be running. –GL

**I’ll handle him. –JW**

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**Sherlock, whenever you catch him, you will text me back immediately. Then Greg. The text will include an update of your person as well as Andrew Barker’s.**

_Well, that was rather unfortunate. Caught him. He’s still alive, just unconscious. Slight head wound from the butt of his own gun, but otherwise fine._

**And how are you? Because I notice you have failed to give me an update on that.**

_Bullet graze. Nothing to be worried about. I’m fine._

**Where?**

**Is it really a graze Sherlock?**

_Left side. Just under my ribcage._

**Keep pressure on it. They have Thomas taken care of here. Where are you?**

**Is it really a graze?**

_I am keeping pressure on it. About six streets over, slightly north, alleyway._

**On my way. Now will you answer me?**

_No._

**Sherlock, please.**

_You won’t like the answer._

**I’m two streets away.**

_Good. I think Andrew’s coming to. You may need to knock him out again._

**Will do.**

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**Lestrade, I have the suspect in custody. He’s unconscious. Two minor abrasions on the temple from the butt of his own gun. –JW**

Good. Where are you? And how’s Sherlock? –GL

**I’m getting a cab and taking Sherlock straight to the hospital. I am sending the ambulance with the suspect back to your location. –JW**

What happened? Bastard hasn’t texted me back. Is he even conscious? –GL

**No. –JW**

You’re taking him to the hospital, what’s wrong? –GL

**He’s been shot. What he called a graze was an actual wound. He went unconscious once he guaranteed that I was there. He has lost a lot blood. –JW**

Jesus. That man just doesn’t have any sense of self-preservation, does he? Tell me if you can’t get a cab, I’ll make sure you get to the hospital. –GL

**We’re on our way. Didn’t get a cab. There was, miraculously, a black car ready to collect us. –JW**

Sherlock having his meddling brother be the British Government does have its advantages, doesn’t it? I’ll take the suspect in and then meet you at the hospital. I won’t have this homicide turn into a double or triple. –GL

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

Give me an update. Is he still breathing? Have they taken him in yet? –GL

John, come on, mate. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Answer me. –GL

**They took him in immediately. Happens when you stumble in with an unconscious body covered in blood. They took him straight into surgery. -JW**

**They won’t let me in. Why the fuck won’t they let me in? –JW**

He’ll be fine, John. This is Sherlock we’re talking about. –GL

Just stay calm, all right? I’ll be there in a few minutes. –GL

**Sure. Of course. –JW**

**Why won’t they let me back there? I’m a fucking doctor. –JW**

He’s your friend. You’re emotionally invested and you wouldn’t be helping them. I’m sorry, John, but right now you’d only be in the way. –GL

Come on, John. Keep talking to me. Don’t get kicked out of the hospital. –GL

**I don’t know what to do. –JW**

**He wasn’t okay, Greg. He was really bad. He wouldn’t stay awake. –JW**

He managed to stay awake until you got to him. I’d say he’s pretty strong when it comes to this. I don’t think one bullet on a tiny case like this will be the thing to take him out. Just sit down in the waiting room and stay calm. Traffic is hell, but I’ll be there soon. –GL

**He loves me, Greg. –JW**

**He loves me and I wasn’t there to protect him. –JW**

You got to him in that alleyway and got him to the hospital. He stayed awake until he knew you were there. Wouldn’t it have been worse if you have found him already unconscious? –GL

**He wouldn’t be unconscious if I had been there with him. –JW**

**He needs to be okay. –JW**

And he will be. Just stay calm, all right? –GL

**Staying calm. –JW**

Are you lying? –GL

**No. Staying calm, just not sane. –JW**

Just parked the car. Headed in now. He’ll be fine, John. –GL

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit, I've been looking forward to posting this little plot route. Not so much a twist, but probably not the expected path. 
> 
> But then, isn't that more fun?
> 
> As always, we love to read any comment, question, or concern that you have!


	13. Chapter 13

**_I would like a status update on my brother and his doctor. –MH_ **

Sherlock was unconscious when John got him to the hospital and they’ve already taken him back into surgery. John’s pretty shaken up. Only calm on the outside and pissed that he can’t go back and help. –GL

**_Our heroic doctor. Any word on Sherlock? –MH_ **

None yet, but it’s just barely been over an hour. –GL

He’s lost a lot of blood. -GL

**_Do keep me updated. –MH_ **

Of course, it’s your brother. –GL

**_I am also concerned for Dr Watson, as this will no doubt amplify his subconscious affections for my brother. –MH_ **

I don’t think those affections are completely subconscious. –GL

**_You don’t? I was under the impression that John has yet to realize the extent of his attachment. Or at least admit to it. –MH_ **

I didn’t say he’s admitted to them, or even that he’s fully aware of them. But it’s pretty damn obvious that he knows he’s attached even if he doesn’t know how strongly. –GL

**_I do hope he comes to a realization soon. –MH -_ **

So do I. They both need it. –GL

**_News? –MH_ **

He’s fine. They lost him once on the table, but he’s stable now. They’re just finishing cleaning him up and then they’re taking him to a room. He’s going to be fine. –GL

**_I am very relieved to hear that, as I’m sure you and the good doctor are. However, with the knowledge that they lost him briefly, how is Dr Watson? –MH_ **

He collapsed back into the chair. Might be in shock. He looks like he’s going to cry. God, I hate this. There’s nothing I can do to help him. They won’t let us see Sherlock for another half hour, and even then I don’t think they will. –GL

**_I do not expect that Dr Watson is taking that well. –MH_ **

No. He’s not. They’ll let me go back, gunshot wounds and statements and all that, once Sherlock wakes up, but John’s not a cop and he’s not family and this isn’t the hospital he works at. I expect you to make it so he can go back there. –GL

**_Well that is not at all acceptable. –MH_ **

**_Has John attempted to claim to be his husband? It that doesn’t work, I will gladly personally intervene. –MH_ **

I don’t think he has, but would it actually work? And will they even let him go back with his clothes all bloodied up? You’d think these people would know by now just who they’re dealing with and let him through. –GL

**_You would think so. I’ve changed the records, temporarily, to read that they are married. He should be allowed to see my brother. –MH_ **

Thank you, Mycroft. They’re leading him back now, saying that they “don’t know how they could’ve missed that”. Want me to continue to stay with him? –GL

**_If you would be so kind. And, if he requires amusement, inform him that I made it Doctor John Watson and Sherlock Holmes-Watson. –MH_ **

All right. I’ll head back after I get John some tea. Coffee would be too much, but he needs something. –GL

**_Has Sherlock regained consciousness? –MH_ **

No, not completely. They’re keeping low on the painkillers because of his history, but they’re keeping him under so he doesn’t feel it. Probably best that he sleeps, though. Who knows when the last time he slept was. John still hasn’t said much. –GL

**_Has he ceased standing aimlessly by the window and resumed his post by the bed to hold my brother’s hand? –MH_ **

He’s not by the window anymore and is sitting by the bed again, yeah, but he might not hold Sherlock’s hand while I’m here. I mean, he did for awhile when we first got in, but he stopped after about 20 minutes. Self-conscious, I think. I’ll try telling him it’s okay if he wants to. –GL

**_I appreciate your tolerance. I do believe John does not expect such understanding from his colleagues. –MH_ **

I’m not just his colleague, I’m his friend. It shouldn’t be anyone else’s business who you can or can’t love. –GL

**_You’re a good man, Detective Inspector. I imagine a prosperous career for you. –MH_ **

I don’t know if you’re just saying that, or you’re ensuring it. –GL

**_Oh, you assume I have the power to do something like that. Nonsense. You could achieve anything of your own merit. I may just move your resume along faster. –MH_ **

**_~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+_ **

Mycroft, do you have any idea what just happened? Andrew Barker was pronounced dead 20 minutes ago. –GL

**_I’m sure I could find out. Would you care to inform me of what was going on in my brother’s room? –MH_ **

Sherlock slipped into a shallow coma. The doctor said something about possible brain damage. –GL

**_Ah, that would explain it. –MH_ **

Explain what? –GL

**_Do not be so naive, Detective Inspector. Where was John during all of this? –MH_ **

He was in the room when Sherlock’s activity dropped.  –GL

**_And then? –MH_ **

You cannot possibly be suggesting what I think you are suggesting. –GL

**_You recall my concern for Dr. Watson when you informed me that Sherlock had previously been declared medically deceased and we did discuss in length the affections he has for my brother. It does not take an overly attached flatmate to deduce how Sherlock might feel were his mind to suffer. How do you think John might have reacted upon hearing that there was potential brain damage? –MH_ **

God, no. –GL

**_It seems the hospital briefly employed a sandy-haired nurse, going off the surveillance tape. He came into Barker’s room, gave him his IV with a little bit more of his diagnosed morphine and left. However, judging by the recent inventory, morphine is not the missing medicine. I do believe we have a situation on our hands. –MH_ **

I didn’t even see him leave the room. He was right there beside me for the first bit. –GL

Mycroft, I have to go after him. He just murdered someone. –GL

**_I am aware that you are duty-bound to do so. I am also encouraging you to hold off. What exactly did the doctor say just before John disappeared? –MH_ **

That because of how long they lost him in surgery, there could be irreversible brain damage, but they wouldn’t know until he woke up… if he woke up. –GL

**_I do not believe it would be a stretch in the slightest to call it a crime of passion. In fact, since the video footage now only displays the room as it was with not visit from any nurse, there is little to no hard evidence John was been anywhere but outside Sherlock’s room. –MH_ **

What?! You can’t do that! It’s tampering with evidence! Why would you tell me if you were going to do that? Why let me know? –GL

**_I have now spoken with Dr. Watson, who is nearly as morally conscious as you. He is willing to go to prison for his crime. I merely have to reintroduce the evidence into the system. The question is, Detective, are you willing to take him? –MH_ **

I should be. I really should be. God, I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t help cover up a murder, Mycroft. It goes against everything I stand for. But, seeing as there’s no evidence… –GL

Where is John? He’s not still at the hospital? If he is, he needs to leave. Go home, change clothes, eat. I’ll investigate the ‘random’ death of Andrew Barker. See if he’s allergic to anything he was given. But John needs to stay away from the hospital for a few hours. –GL

**_Understood. It will be difficult to convince him to leave Sherlock’s side, but I think he’ll be better off getting a bit of rest. In the meantime, you will discover that Andrew Barker was deathly allergic to latex and, unfortunately, got his hands on the gloves not meant for him. It is actually a possible suicide. Barker could have been driven to it after realizing he had harmed his brother. –MH_ **

**_I will be sure that you are rewarded for this, Greg. I am very sorry that you are being put through such a dilemma. –MH_ **

God, sometimes it really scares me how much power you have. –GL

**_It should. –MH_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....SURPRISE! :D
> 
> Comments, questions, and concerns are welcome. Encouraged, even. Glad to have them!


	14. Chapter 14

John, you need to leave the hospital right now. Not for good, just for a few hours. Go home, shower, eat, rest. I know what you did, but I’m not arresting you, so you better damn well do what I say. –GL

**Oh my God. Greg I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know why –JW**

**I’ll stop. –JW**

**Yes sir. On my way home. –JW**

Good man. They did a few tests on Sherlock. Brain scans, stuff like that. Everything’s normal. He was only classified as comatose for a few minutes. It was just the blood-loss, and he’s doing a lot better. I don’t care if he wakes up in the next five minutes, you will stay away for at least four hours, got that? –GL

**Yes sir. Not arguing. ­–JW**

**I owe you everything. -JW**

John, I’m not asking you to go soldier on me. You are just going to be paying for our pub nights for the next year or so. –GL

God, that sounds horrible. I’m negotiating covering up a crime with pub nights. –GL

**Would it help if I told you that this is somewhat a peak into my daily life? –JW**

Not really, no. –GL

**Damn. Well, saying I owe you will never, ever cover it. Technically, I owe you my life. Or at least 25 years to life. –JW**

Then you’ll pay for pub nights for the next 25 years. Maybe I’ll let you out early for good behaviour. –GL

**That sounds good. I’m back at the flat. Please keep me updated on him. –JW**

And keep me updated on you. I want to be sure you’re still sane for when Sherlock wakes up. –GL

**Do you at least understand? I mean, when the doctor said possible brain damage… Sherlock is his mind. If he lost ANY of that… –JW**

Would he really want you going to prison for murder, John? –GL

**_~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+_ **

**How is he? –JW**

A lot better. I told you he was strong. I wouldn’t be surprised if he woke up tonight. How are you? I won’t let you back in here unless you’ve got clean clothes on. –GL

**I’m clean. Sat down. Had tea. I’ve been lost in my head a bit. –JW**

Please eat something. I know you didn’t eat yesterday. –GL

**I don’t think I can keep anything down. –JW**

**I don’t feel guilty yet. For what I did. I should, but I don’t. Not while Sherlock’s on that bed. –JW**

Do you think you will at all? Or will that depend on if Sherlock’s all right or not? –GL

**I think it will depend. As long as he’s unconscious, I don’t feel a thing. The fact that he could have suffered brain damage almost makes it justifiable in my head right now. I’m sure when he is better I will feel massively awful for what I’ve done. But right now? I’d do it again. –JW**

If I’m honest, I really can’t say I blame you. But that’s the “Sherlock and John’s friend” side of me talking. The DI side is warning you to never pull anything like that again. I know, it’s Sherlock, but I can’t just let you do that, John. –GL

**I know that! God, I killed someone! It’s not a tap on the hand with a ruler like “bad John, you’ve been naughty”. I fucking killed someone. I deserve prison and worse. But I didn’t care at the time. All I knew was that Sherlock was dead on the table and if he didn’t die he might have brain trauma. I’m thankful for you and Mycroft because I won’t have to live with the full consequences of what I did. But what scares me is that I just warned Sherlock this would happen. And it did. I don’t want to be right again. Not about this. –JW**

What do you mean, John? Warned him about what? –GL

**Nothing. I just knew one day he’d get in trouble and I would pull something idiotic. –JW**

**It’s not the first time I’ve killed for him. –JW**

Why does that not surprise me? –GL

 As much as want to ask, don’t tell me any details. –GL

**Wouldn’t dream of rehashing our first case, Greg. Why on earth would I tell you about the time I killed a cabbie? Would just be bad form. –JW**

John… –GL

**…yes? –JW**

All right, now you’re just worrying me. Should I head over there? –GL

**No I’m… fine. Really. Just trying to pretend my life doesn’t hang on whether or not that man wakes up. –JW**

He’s looking a lot better. I’m sure he’ll wake up. –GL

**Can I please come back? I need to be there when he does. –JW**

Yeah, yeah, all right. He’ll want you here. –GL

**On my way. With coffee. Your favourite. –JW**

Thanks, mate. –GL

**_~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+_ **

John’s headed back to the hospital now in case Sherlock wakes up. –GL

**_That’s just fine. When Sherlock wakes up, do allow them their privacy. –MH_ **

Oh, definitely. I’m expecting a mix of screaming and kissing. None of my business, really. –GL

**_Wouldn’t that be lovely. –MH_ **

**_Ah, it seems my brother is at least slightly conscious, going by John being directly next to the bed and him taking Sherlock’s hand again. –MH_ **

How the hell… You know what, you’re a Holmes. I’m not even going to bother asking how you knew that. But yes, it does look like Sherlock might be waking up. I’ll go get something to eat, leave them to themselves for a while. –GL

**_You’re meal is waiting for you in a private lounge. Catered by the same men who cook for the Queen. I will keep an eye on John. –MH_ **

Oh. Well, thank you. –GL

**_A pleasure. –MH_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill!


	15. Chapter 15

**Greg, sorry I didn’t text you immediately, but Sherlock is awake. Awake and groaning. He seems okay. He just might be. –JW**

That’s great, John! I told you, didn’t I? That man is stronger than we give him credit for. You want me to head back to the hospital or should I leave you guys alone? –GL

**We’ve had our moment. Well, sort of. Sherlock doesn’t understand exactly why I sort of… tackled him when he woke up. He’s not really allowing any heart to hearts, though I have no idea what I want to say. So feel free to head back. –JW**

Hope you didn’t hurt him when you tackled him. Wouldn’t do to pull his stitches, John. I’ll head there as soon as I can get a break. –GL

**Stitches intact. It was more a grabbing his head deal. –JW**

**I did not kiss him. I should clarify. Except on his head. –JW**

**Besides, you have a pool to win. Gotta save that right? –JW**

Ha, of course, John. Might confuse him if you kissed him first thing, anyway. –GL

Is he talking at all? Is he calm or is he being his usual self? –GL

**He is definitely Sherlock. His voice is croaky, but he’s deducing the nurses. A bit on overdrive. He read me, too. He hasn’t figured out why I’m so shaken up. Probably because it’s sentiment. –JW**

So he’s just fine. No brain damage. That’s wonderful, John. –GL

**Yes it is. –JW**

**I have this… inexplicable feeling in my chest. I’m happy. I’m too happy. –JW**

**I don’t feel the guilt yet. –JW**

Did you feel guilty about the cabbie? –GL

**No. He was going to kill Sherlock. He had killed people. He would probably have killed again. –JW**

Right. I suppose that makes sense, in a vigilante sort of way. –GL

Think you could stomach some food? You’re going to keel over if you don’t eat. –GL

**I think so, yeah. Sound’s amazing, actually. –JW**

Good. I’m on my way to the hospital now. Head down to the cafeteria, I’ll meet you there. –GL

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

_Where did you go? Why do they keep trying to take my phone away from me?_

**Relax. They’re just making sure you’re okay.**

_Taking my phone away isn’t making sure I’m okay. It’s just annoying. And why do they keep calling me Mr. Holmes-Watson?_

**They wouldn’t let me see you. So, until you leave, we’re legally married. Congratulations, hubby.**

_Oh, don’t call me that. I’m assuming Mycroft did that._

**I don’t think you understand how bad you were, Sherlock.**

**And yes, Mycroft decided to make you take my last name, an entirely fitting move in my opinion.**

**Oh come on, pumpkin, what’s wrong with hubby? Would you prefer baby cakes?**

**Lestrade is wondering why I am giggling.**

_If you’re going to use pet names, at least come up with a half decent one._

**Hmmm… sugarpie? My wittle genius?**

_Really? I’m not a child, John._

**Dear heart? Baby? Gorgeous? Darling?**

_Better._

**I am having far too much fun.**

**I know sweetheart is definitely out.**

_Why is that?_

**I feel like, if we ever did have pet names, they’d be more along the lines of bastard, arse, dick…**

_Oh, so we already do use them. You call me all of those, along with git and idiot, all the time._

**Oh shit. Well at least we’re on top of things in case we ever did get together. I like to be prepared.**

_You never did answer me_ **.** _Where did you go, John?_

**Eating. Lestrade and I haven’t really had a decent meal in two days.**

_Two days? No wonder I’m bored. Did Lestrade get Andrew Barker? Is Thomas Barker still alive?_

**Tom made it through. Doctors took good care of him. He is alive and healing. Andrew wasn’t so lucky. Mycroft knows the whole story. Something about an allergy to latex.**

_He killed someone, shot two people, and was then taken out by an allergy to latex? Dull._

**Apparent suicide.**

_He didn’t seem suicidal._

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**_Welcome back to the land of the living, brother dear. I see you are enjoying your married status. Do you like my work? –MH_ **

_Do I like that you married me to John without either of our consent, and hyphenated my name on top of it? Well, it made it so John could see me, so I suppose I should be thanking you. –SH_

**_It was a suggestion to avoid me having to use force. John consented. He was rather eager to see you. –MH_ **

_Interesting. What happened to Andrew Barker? He didn’t seem suicidal. John won’t explain. -SH_

**_He was apparently consumed with guilt for harming his brother and lover. In an emotional and irrational outburst, he got a hold of latex gloves and shoved them down his throat. He was dead in minutes. –MH_ **

_That seems highly unlikely. He was a criminal, why wasn’t he cuffed to his bed? How did he get a hold of the gloves without anyone noticing? –SH_

**_He was being ignored in favor of a higher priority case: you. He only had one hand cuffed. –MH_ **

_Why does it feel like there’s something you’re not telling me? –SH_

**_Because there is something I am not telling you, but it is not my place. –MH_ **

_Then whose place is it? –SH_

**_That would be your loving husband. –MH_ **

_And yet he told me to ask you. What is he hiding? –SH_

**_He will tell you when he is ready. I take it he also has not disclosed the entire nature of your condition over the past two days. –MH_ **

_He said they took me into surgery as fast as they could, that I didn’t wake up as quickly as the thought I would. There’s more, isn’t there? –SH_

**_Naturally. He did embrace you the moment you awoke. You cannot deduce what happened? What happened, in John’s eyes, twice? –MH_ **

_I died. –SH_

**_Medically dead for a total of four minutes. Then in your room, your brainwave activity decreased dramatically. The doctor informed him that there was a chance of resulting brain damage. I do believe John would prefer death before your mind going. –MH_ **

_Why wouldn’t John tell me? Why keep that to himself? –SH_

_What does any of this have to do with Andrew Barker’s death? –SH_

_Oh. He didn’t. –SH_

**_If you want any further information, you will have to ask him directly. I have betrayed his confidence enough. –MH_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I need to remind you guys that WE LOVE COMMENTS AND THINGS AND THOUGHTS AND STUFF :)


	16. Chapter 16

_John, you didn’t. Please tell me you didn’t. Killing a cabbie who was trying to kill me is one thing, but I was already in the hospital. Killing Andrew Barker is revenge._

**I don’t know what you’re talking about. Barker committed suicide.**

_John, just don’t._

_I don’t care if you killed him; I just want to know why._

**I told you why, if you remember.**

_I’ve been unconscious for two days, and the day before that is a bit hazy. Refresh my memory._

**If we were lovers… I told you. The need to protect you would consume me. And you were dead. Because of Barker. I had failed to protect you and that man was going to get to live. And what’s worse, your mind being threatened…**

**We’re not lovers, but…**

**I didn’t want to do this over a text, but I love you.**

_You’ve said that before, John. Unless you mean it in another way…_

**I don’t want to live without you. I can’t live without you. I love you and a life without you is meaningless. I love you. I’m in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Even if that means I live with your pissy moods and cluelessness regarding sentiment. It took seeing you dead three times for me to realize it, but it’s happened.**

_John…_

_Why aren’t you at the hospital with me?_

_Get a cab. Now. You need to get here as soon as you can._

**_~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+_ **

 

John, are you all right? Sherlock’s trying to leave the hospital. What’s going on? –GL

**Don’t worry about it, Greg. Just keep him in the hospital. –JW**

Don’t worry, I am. –GL

**I feel I owe you the truth, since you did me such a big favour. Let me just put it this way, Greg: you’re going to have a lot more categories for the betting pool. –JW**

Oh. Well, in that case, I think I’ll leave when you get here. Just don’t try to take him home tonight; doctors said he can’t leave until tomorrow. –GL

**Whoa there Greg. I love the man, sure, but I’m not about to take him out of the hospital for a shag. Hard enough giving my heart. My arse is still mine, thank you. –JW**

What made you think I was suggesting such a thing? I would never. But, in all seriousness, Sherlock’s been whining about being here, he wants to leave but he’s not allowed. You would be able to check him out, but I’m asking you not to. They want to continue monitoring. –GL

**_~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+_ **

**Sherlock, stop that.**

_You weren’t answering._

**Sherlock, I’m on my way. I took a shower is all.**

_You could have said something before._

**I was somewhat embarrassed at myself for having to admit that over text.**

_You found it embarrassing? Because it was over text? Here’s a solution for you: get here and tell me in person._

**I’m going to tell you. And I’m going to kiss you. More than once, if you’ll let me. But only if you stay there and behave.**

_Of course, John._

**_~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+_ **

Well, that wasn’t creepy at all. He’s stopped complaining. –GL

**He just… stopped? Just like that? –JW**

Yeah. –GL

**Well. Talk about instant results. –JW**

What the hell did you do? –GL

**I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. –JW**

Whatever it was, John, it must have been good. It’s definitely working. –GL

**That doesn’t surprise me, really. –JW**

Can I ask what it was? How did you manage to find a way to control him so easily? –GL

**Well, you can try it yourself if you’d like. Tell Sherlock that you’ll offer him the same deal if he drinks some water. –JW**

He gave me a dirty look and sent me out of the room. What the hell did you just have me offer? –GL

**Oh nothing. Just a kiss or two. –JW**

Oh, why do I put up with the two of you? –GL

**Beats me. –JW**

**You should try kissing him and tell me if he’s any good. I actually don’t know, myself. –JW**

I think I’ll pass, thanks. –GL

**Awww you’re no fun. –JW**

Yeah, well, I’m not the one he’s in love with. Don’t think he’d much appreciate me laying one on him. Not that I would anyway. Not interested. –GL

**Damn. I totally had you pegged for a Holmes hussie. –JW**

So is that what you are then? A Holmes hussie? What made you think I was? –GL

**I’m pulling your leg. Sorry, it was just giving me a giggle. –JW**

You’re such an arse. –GL

**Why thank you, Greg. That means a lot to me. –JW**

Hey, don’t go trying to pawn him off, now. –GL

In fact, I do believe you said you owed me for covering for you, but I think I’ve found a fair punishment for you. You’ve got time to serve and I think the best way for you to do that is 25 years to life with Sherlock Holmes as your flatmate. –GL

**God help me. Well, Detective Inspector, I do believe that is a fair sentence. Fits my crime. –JW**

**I’m almost there. Out of...curiosity, how long did you bet before we kissed publically? –JW**

I already changed my bets to your suggestions. So a week or so from now. Doesn’t have to be on the day, just no later than a week after it. Closest counts. –GL

**I’ll try to keep it in the flat until then. –JW**

I’d still be closest in four days, if you don’t want to wait. –GL

**Hell no. We’re making sure you get all of it.**

And I’m going to say that Sherlock’s hospital room does not count as public. Kiss away. –GL

**Thanks. On my way to his room now. See you on the other side. –JW**

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

_Lestrade just informed me that the hospital room is “neutral” territory and will not have any effect on the betting pool of Scotland Yard and then made a very hasty exit. Care to explain?_

**Ah, what a mate.**

**Well, he hasn’t pegged our first kiss for another week.**

_Yes, I did note that on the betting sheet. I was keeping it in mind, as I wanted to ensure his victory. What does that have to with this being “neutral” territory?_

_Oh._

_You really do intend to kiss me._

**I really do.**

_And any occurrences in the hospital room do not affect Lestrade’s chances?_

**Nope.**

_Any and all?_

**Any and all.**

_John, I do believe I am going to kiss you when you get here._

**Not if I kiss you first.**

_Really, John? That was terribly cliche._

**Oh shut up. You love me anyways.**

_Yes, I do._

**~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+**

**_Do you think they’d notice if I simply left their legal standing as is? –MH_ **

You know, I really don’t think they would. –GL

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I think we should probably mention that the next, and last, chapter is the epilogue of our story. I don't think we had any idea how much of a success our simple RP-turned-fic would turn out to be. Thank you all for reading and thank you all for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks. We hope you enjoyed the ride. -Oswin


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a nice little epilogue for you :)

_Are you properly inebriated or are you headed to another pub when you’re finished at that one?_

**Shush. There is a reason for this.**

_And what would that reason be?_

**Ever heard of the term “liquid courage”?**

_What on earth do you need courage for?_

**How much… experience have you had?**

_I’ve had two interests before you, only one sexual relationship. So, yes, I have had sex. Why are you asking?_

**Well we have discussed that. I just**

**Sod this. How about I come home and show you?**

_What would you be showing me?_

**I’d be giving you a glimpse of why they call me John “Three Continents” Watson.**

_Oh. Interesting._

**It would help if I could find my way home. Seem to have gotten a bit lost.**

_You went to the closest pub. How did you managed to get lost?_

_Sorry, didn’t mean it like that. Where are you?_

**I left the pub and went out for something.**

**I’m on my way back.**

_But you’re lost?_

**I was, but Mycroft knows where we’re at. Two minutes.**

_Mycroft? You texted him?_

**More like he caught me wandering the streets and is delivering me.**

_Caught you? He sent a car?_

**Picked me up himself, actually, the sweetheart.**

 

_My brother is not a “sweetheart” by any definition._

**He made a personal run to get me home safely. And kept me out of jail. By definition, sweetheart _._**

_If his heart were anything close to sweet he would eat it._

**Holy shit you can’t send me into a fit of giggles. Mycroft is gonna kill me.**

**I bet you’ll like how I taste, Sherlock. If your brother weren’t here, I’d start riling you up now.**

_I already like how you taste, John._

**I added a little something for you. I have been keeping you off pain pills, so I thought I’d let you indulge a bit.**

**We’ve never done an open mouth kiss, have we?**

_No, we haven’t. Close to it, but not quite. Have that in mind?_

**I do. And I think you’ll enjoy it. More so when I tell you I decided to try a cigarette today. You do prefer menthol, right?**

_Oh, John. That is definitely indulging me._

**That’s the plan.**

**_~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+_ **

_Just because he killed one person doesn’t mean he’ll go on a killing spree. While I appreciate you picking him up, stop following him around like someone wanted by MI6. –SH_

**_I am concerned for his safety. He is my brother-in-law. –MH_ **

_That doesn’t mean you should stalk him. –SH_

**_Concerned. Not stalking. Concerned. –MH_ **

_John’s mine. Get your own. –SH_

**_That’s the plan. –MH_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! 
> 
> Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Leave them for us! We love reading them!

**Author's Note:**

> So what'd you think?


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